Fight
by UnOriginalOne
Summary: Kate McGregor is in for the fight of her life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Fight

Author: UnOriginalOne

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; they belong to people who are much more creative and smarter than I.

Summary: Kate McGregor is in for the fight of her life.

Authors Notes: This is my first Sea Patrol fic. I've posted it on the forums, so if you see it there, that's me, nothing to worry about. This first chapter is short, but it is just meant as a set up. Second chapter is written, and I'll post it shortly. All feedback appreciated.

**Chapter 1**

Kate McGregor sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair in the waiting room. Twirling her hat nervously in her hands she allowed her body to slide slightly down the shiny surface, watching as other patients were called in ahead of her, eventually leaving her alone in the waiting room. In an attempt to alleviate her boredom, Kate picked up a trashy magazine from the pile to her right. Paying no attention to the headlines splashed across the colourful cover, she opened the glossy paper slowly, thumbing through the pages in an attempt to find an article that appealed. Finding nothing to interest her, she threw the magazine back to its original location, sighing loudly as she waited to be called in to see the Doctor.

'Lieutenant McGregor?' a male voice questioned, looking around the empty room. Kate stood, straightening her whites and placing her hat into position atop her head. She approached the older man, offering her hand as he gestured for her to follow him down the hallway. 'Third door on the right,' he told her, pausing to collect more paperwork from the receptionist. Following the man's directions, Kate entered the small room, taking a seat on the chair next to the desk. Pulling her hat from her head once again, Kate waited nervously for the Doctor to enter. He did so, moments later, shutting the door behind him. 'Lieutenant McGregor,' he began, only to be cut off by the woman in front of him. 'Please, call me Kate.'

'Kate,' he corrected himself before continuing, 'Before we start can you tell me what brings you in today?'

Swallowing a lump in her throat she looks at the Doctor, his pen poised to take notes as she speaks 'Two weeks ago while on Patrol I discovered what I believe to be a suspicious lump in my left breast. When I returned to port I had it examined, and they performed a Mammogram, and I'm here today to have a needle biopsy done to confirm their diagnosis.' The doctor, Marcus Green, his name badge read, hurriedly finished scribbling his notes,

'Do they have any ideas on what this lump could be?'

'None that they've shared. I'm hoping that this biopsy will give me some answers.'

'Ok, shall we start?' Kate nodded her affirmation. 'What I'm going to do is numb the area and take some fluid from the lump for analysis. I'm going to give you a local anaesthetic to numb the area so hopefully you won't feel too much discomfort. If you want to get changed into that gown over there we can begin.' Kate stood, dropping her hat onto the seat beside her, and picking the gown up from the bed, pulling the curtain closed around her as she changed into the papery garment. Opening the curtain again she hopped up onto the bed, swinging her legs nervously over the side while she waited for Doctor Green to come over.

Dropping the last of the vials on the table, Dr. Green stuck the labels around the plastic, before turning back to his patient lying on the bed, a look of discomfort spread across her face. 'Ok Kate, that's all for now, I'll leave you to get dressed.' Kate muttered a weak response, the procedure more painful than she had anticipated. Once the curtains were drawn again she sat up, swinging her legs towards the ground, awkwardly getting to her feet, using the bed as a support. She pulled the papery gown off, throwing it on the bed behind her as she attempted to redress in her Whites. Ten minutes later, after a great deal of effort and pain, she emerged from behind the curtains, walking unsteadily over to retake her seat next to the desk. 'We should have the results back in a couple of days; will you still be in Port?' Kate shrugged,

'We're not due to go out again until Friday, but anything could happen between now and then.' He nodded,

'I understand, I just need you to sign here and then we're done for today. Someone will call you when the results are in.'

'Ok,' she replied, signing the form in her loopy script, 'I'll speak to you then.' Kate dropped the pen on the desk and stood to shake the hand of the man opposite her, 'Thank you.' Collecting her hat and sitting it back atop her head she left the room, ignoring the stinging pain in her left side.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the feedback. I've written the third chapter and will post it here on Friday. Let me know what you think.

**Chapter 2**

The sun was high in the sky as Kate approached the Hammersley at her place alongside. The dock around her was a flurry of activity and she absentmindedly saluted those who passed her. Finally reaching the Patrol Boat she called home, she stepped onto the Gangway, pausing to salute the ensign before placing a foot on the solid surface of the deck. Finding the deck empty, she continued below, desperate to change out of her Whites, and into something more comfortable.

Closing her cabin door behind her, she dropped her sore body onto the chair which had its home next to her desk. Her hat was flung onto said desk; covering up the paperwork which she had allowed to accumulate in past days, and she knew, realistically, would still be there until she could focus enough to complete it. Pausing a moment to take a shaky breath, she began unbuttoning her shirt for the second time that day, ignoring the dull pain that spread across her left side as she pulled the shirt from her pants. Carefully removing the item, more to save time later, as opposed to any actual concern for the garment, she slipped a coat hanger inside the fabric, hanging it in the cupboard with its companions. Pulling off her boots and pants in much the same manner, they soon found themselves once again stowed in the cupboard while Kate slowly dressed in her Camos' tying her long sleeved top around her waist, not wanting the tight fitting fabric pressing against the infuriated lump in her breast. Dislodging the pins that held her hair in its tight bun, she allowed it to fall over her shoulders before she tied it back in its trademark ponytail. Dressed and ready to face the crew again, Kate paused to look at the framed photograph on her desk. A casually dressed Kate and Nikki were perched next to a bar, pineapples in hand, as they laughed together, unaware that the picture had been snapped. The photo was taken a month ago when Nikki had been docked in Cairns. The bubbly young woman had emailed ahead to alert them to her visit, and her intention to "Paint the town red." Kate and Bomber, desperate to see their friend after months apart had accepted her offer and the rest of the Crew had quickly agreed to join them, turning the event into a reunion of sorts as they partied for two days before they were reluctantly separated once again. Running a finger over the glass that protected the photograph, she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. 'I wish you were here Nik,' she whispered to the photograph, fighting back tears. A knock on her door interrupted her quiet time, 'Just a minute,' she said, wanting to compose herself before letting anyone in. Standing to check her appearance in the mirror, she wiped the liquid from under her left eye, and opened the door. Bird was standing on the other side, looking slightly nervous, 'Ma'am, the CO would like to see you in his Cabin.' Kate nodded her response, confused as to why the CO would dispatch Bird to find her when he was capable of that action himself. She stepped from her cabin, firmly shutting the door behind her before making her way to the CO's cabin.

Stopping in front of the non-descript door, Kate raised her fist, tapping it lightly on the rough surface. The door fell open before her eyes, revealing the CO sitting at his desk, slowly typing on his computer. 'X, come in.' She obliged, shutting the door behind her and taking a position against the wall. She waited patiently as he finished typing, watching as he saved the document and closed it, revealing a photograph of the Hammersley and her crew. Dragging her gaze away from the picture on the screen, she turned her attention to the man sitting before her. 'You wanted to see me Sir?' Kate enquired, still not sure of why he had requested to see her.

'Yes X,' he started, 'I was putting together a Briefing packet for NavCom and I realised that I was missing several reports, from you.' She looked away, 'Is there a reason for this X? I don't usually have to chase up paperwork from you.'

'I'm sorry Sir, I'll have it on your desk by the end of the day.' Kate turned to leave, but was stopped by a hand on her arm. 'Kate?' he enquired, using her given name, tightening his grip on her arm just slightly to stop her from leaving. Taking a deep breath, she turned to him, 'I'm fine Sir.' She pulled her arm, indicating to him that their conversation was at an end. Making a quick exit, she closed the door behind her, rushing back to her cabin, slamming the door as she effectively shut the rest of the ship out.

True to her word her completed reports were sitting on the CO's desk before the end of the day. Now, she sat alone on the Bridge, a steaming mug of coffee resting in her hands as she prepared for the long night ahead. Night watches while in Port were never popular among the Crew, and so when Kate had volunteered for the privilege while Hammersley was in Port, most were surprised. The XO almost never completed Duty Watch while in Port, preferring to leave the task to the Junior Sailors. For Kate though, she had an ulterior motive, she'd had trouble sleeping the past couple of weeks. The fear of the unknown keeping her up at night, affording her only a couple of hours of forced sleep. Her addiction to coffee had increased tenfold as she struggled to stay alert during the day. At least if she was on Duty Watch overnight she had a valid reason to be awake, even if it gave her too much time to think. Perched in the Captain's chair she looked over the Docks, the flourish of activity from earlier in the day having ceased as the Sun dipped below the horizon. The boat creaked as she brushed against the dock with the ripple of the water beneath her, the sound enough to disturb Kate from her thoughts. She looked at her watch, Bird should be back soon. The older woman had sent the young Seaman down to the Galley to grab herself a feed after she'd completed the relevant checks for the 2100 check in. A creaky hinge alerted her to the arrival of another person on the Bridge. Thinking it was her young companion, she stayed in position, her feet perched precariously in front of her, the mug now balanced in one hand. When after a minute or so the voice of the bouncy young Seaman had failed to materialise, she turned, confused to find her CO standing there, eyeing her with concern. 'X, we need to talk.'


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Surprise, I'm posting this early! Haven't started writing the fourth chapter (apart from in my head) but I'm gonna start working on it once this is posted. Hope you all enjoy, and let me know what you think.

**Chapter 3**

Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat, avoiding eye contact with her Commanding Officer. A tense silence fell over the Bridge, broken by the bubbly voice of the youngest Sailor approaching her superiors. 'X, I bought you something,' she said, failing to notice the presence of the CO. She thrust her hands in front of her, a sandwich sliding across the plate slightly, almost falling to the ground before she quickly righted herself. 'Oh Sir, I didn't see you there.' Offering the plate to the older woman, Bird was surprised when the older woman shook her head in refusal, 'I'm fine thanks.'

'Bird, take over from the X, I need to speak with her a moment.' The young woman nodded her ascent, stepping aside to let the Executive Officer through. Kate made no attempt to move from her perch, an action that didn't escape the notice of her Boss. 'Lieutenant McGregor, that wasn't a request. I want to speak to you in my cabin, now,' he said, leaving no room for argument. Glaring at him, she complied with his request, dropping her feet to the floor and standing, stretching out her stiff muscles before following him out of the Bridge.

Mike closed the door behind them as they entered his cabin. Kate watched as he ran a hand through his hair, obviously not sure how to start the conversation. 'Kate,' he began, using her given name, only to be interrupted.

'Sir?' she questioned, pushing the dull ache in her side to the back of her mind. His face fell at her formality and he took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts. 'Kate, is there something wrong?' he asked, deciding to cut straight to the point.

'I don't understand what you mean Sir,' she responded, deliberately avoiding his question, dropping her gaze to the floor. He reached out, placing two fingers under her chin to raise her eyes to meet his. The tears that had formed didn't go unnoticed and he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her smaller frame, offering comfort for reasons he didn't understand. Tightening his grip on her, he unknowingly pressed against her left breast, squashing the sensitive area between their bodies. The sudden sharp pain caused her to jump back, colliding with the wall as she let out a loud curse. Now aware that she could no longer hide her ailment from him, she reached up to wipe the fresh tears from her eyes. 'Kate,' he said, 'that wasn't nothing; please tell me, what's wrong.' Swallowing another sob, Kate cradled her breast gently, trying to will away the throbbing pain. Grasping her elbow gently, he led her to his chair, helping her to lower her body into it. Kneeling in front of her, he grasped her hands in his, his thumb rubbing across the back of her hand in a gesture of comfort. Seeing the concern in his eyes, she knew she couldn't hide her condition from her any longer. Pulling one hand from his grasp, she reached up to run her hand down his face. 'I…' she started, pausing for a moment, as if figuring out the best way to tell him the little she knew. 'I found a lump in my breast,' she whispered quietly, as if saying it too loud would offend it somehow, 'I went to the Doctor, they couldn't tell me what it was,' she continued, her voice still barely above a whisper. He squeezed his eyes together, realising the enormity of her admission and attempting to stop the tears that had formed in their ducts. His free hand reached up, running his hand down the side of her face, mimicking her earlier gesture. 'Kate…' Mike trailed off, not knowing what to say to alleviate her obvious fears. She leaned into his touch, finally allowing the emotion that had been building up for two weeks, to spill over.

Her tears stopped for now, Kate pulled back from Mike, taking a shuddering breath as she regained her composure. He ran his hand down the side of her face once more, pressing a reassuring kiss to her forehead. 'I'm here Kate, whatever you need,' he whispered into her hair, the first words spoken between them in almost an hour. She pulled her head away, looking up at him, her eyes puffy from the tears she'd shed. 'When will you know?' he asked, his voice barely audible.

'I had a needle biopsy done today, should have the results in a couple of days,' she responded, just as quietly.

'Do you need me to come with you?' Looking up, seeing the concern reflected in his eyes, she responded, her voice cracking, 'It'd mean the world to me if you did.' She stood, stretching out her stiff muscles, groaning as her joints clicked back into place. 'I've got some paperwork to finish, I'll be on the Bridge if you need me,' she told him, giving his hand one last gentle squeeze before leaving the security of Mike's cabin.

Making a quick stop in her cabin to collect the remaining folders and her laptop from the desk, Kate paused to check her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red from the flood of tears that she'd shed that evening, and her hair was skewed from its original position. Stepping into the small bathroom, she splashed water on her face, washing the grit from her eyes, picking up a soft towel to dry her face. Pulling the elastic from her hair she ran her fingers through it, before putting it back into its ponytail. Shutting the door to the small bathroom, she collected the items from her desk, carrying them towards the Galley to grab a fresh Brew before heading back to the Bridge. Watching the liquid swirl in the mug as she stirred it, Kate took a moment to reflect on the events of the past hour. The pain in her side was still there, though not as sharp, and she felt like a massive weight had been lifted from her chest after speaking with Mike. Kate still felt uneasy about what the results might show, and truth be known, she was terrified that she would have cancer. What would become of her career if she did? What would become of her life? Would she survive? That was the hardest part for her, the fear of the unknown, not knowing if she would still be here in a year, or if she would become just another statistic. Realistically she knew she had given herself a chance by rushing to the Doctor as soon as she had arrived in Port, but there was still that nagging voice inside that was telling her she should have noticed something amiss earlier. Filing her doubts away to pursue another time, Kate picked up her computer and her files, resting them in the crook of her right arm, collecting her steaming mug from the bench and heading back to the Bridge to finish her Watch.


	4. Chapter 4

Onward! Thanks to everyone who has left feedback, it means the world to know what you all think.  
This was a kinda difficult chapter to write, and I hope that any medical details mentioned in this and subsequent chapters are correct, however, as I have no personal experience with this disease, some information may be incorrect, although I have taken some time to research this topic to try and get it correct as possible.

This chapter is for everyone who has been touched by this horrific disease, my thoughts are with you always.

**Chapter 4**

A buzzing noise disturbed Kate from her paperwork. Looking at the number flashing across the screen she recognised it as the number from of the Hospital. Picking it up nervously, she answered the call, her voice cracking as she spoke, 'Kate McGregor.'

'Kate, Marcus Green speaking. How are you?' the voice on the other end responded.

'I'm fine, how are you?'

'Good, thanks. Are you still in Port?'

'I am,' Kate replied, not offering any additional information.

'I have your test results here, are you free to come in this afternoon to discuss them?'

'I can be there in an hour,' Kate told him.

'That's fine, I'll let reception know, and I'll see you then.'

'Thank you Doctor.' The line clicked, signalling the end of the conversation. Kate pulled the phone away from her ear, staring at the item in her hand. Dropping the phone to the desk, she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, fear gripping her every sense. A knock at her door pulled her from her thoughts, and the door opened before she could respond. 'X, have you…' Mike began, pausing when he saw the terrified look on her face, 'Kate?' he asked, rushing to her side.

'The Doctor called my test results are back,' she whispered, 'I have to go in an hour.' Mike nodded, reaching his hand up to run it down the side of her face, 'Do you still want me to come with you?' he asked, a hint of fear in his voice.  
'Yes,' she whispered, allowing the fear she was feeling to creep to the surface as she grabbed his larger hand with her smaller one, his strong grip reassuring her that she didn't have to do this alone.

An hour later, two Navy officers, clad in their Whites strode into the waiting room at Barry General. Their arms hung loosely at their sides, their hands brushing together in featherlight touches as they walked. Kate approached the dour receptionist, clearing her throat loudly to get the woman's attention. The chubby woman looked up, eying Kate curiously, 'Yes?' she asked rudely, annoyed at having been pulled from her computer, which, from the corner of her eye, Kate could see was logged into Facebook, a chat window in the lower corner flashing indicating a new message. 'Lieutenant Kate McGregor, I'm here to see Dr. Green.'

'Take a seat over there,' she said, pointing blindly in the direction of a bank of chairs, before returning her attention to her online conversation. Containing her anger, Kate walked over to where Mike was seated. However, the sight of her Commanding Officer, and sometimes lover, thumbing through an old copy of the Woman's Day was enough to dissolve her anger, even if it was only for a moment. Dropping into the seat next to him, she resisted the urge to kiss his gorgeous face, currently skewed in concentration as he read what was apparently a very interesting article. Shaking her head and chuckling, Kate was surprised when he looked up, 'What?'

'I can't believe you're reading that trash. I thought you were smarter than that,' she said, pulling the magazine from his grip and tossing it back onto the table.

'Hey! I was reading that,' he exclaimed, watching as his Executive Officer burst out laughing. Her laughter proved infectious as he too broke out laughing. Watching as she wiped tears from her eyes he was glad that he'd done something to take her mind off the reason they were here, if only for a few minutes. Her laughter stopped as suddenly as it had started as she saw Dr. Green approach. 'Kate, how are you?' he asked, offering his hand. Ignoring the outstretched hand, she nodded in response, eying the folders he carried suspiciously. Finding her voice, she introduced the man sitting next to her, 'Commander Mike Flynn,' she said, offering nothing on the nature of their relationship, 'Marcus Green.' Mike shook his hand politely, watching as the Marcus gestured towards his consulting room. Kate followed Marcus slowly, a last ditch attempt at avoiding what was awaiting her in the papers he held. Stopping in the doorway, he allowed Kate and Mike to enter before he followed, shutting the door firmly behind him. Taking his seat, he gave the couple sitting before him a few moments to settle, watching as Kate's hand positioned itself next to Mike's, the latter taking her smaller hand in his.

Flipping the cream folder open on his desk, Marcus spoke, 'How have you been feeling Kate? Any discomfort around the lump?'

'A little, but I expected that.'

'Do you mind if I have a quick look, just to check for any infection.'

'Go ahead,' Kate told him, rising from her seat. Mike watched as she sat on the bed situated on the far wall, pulling her shirt free from the confines of her pants before removing it and laying it across the bed. Marcus closed the curtain around them, giving a degree of privacy while Mike sat nervously in the chair, his gaze wandering the pieces of paper sitting on the wooden desktop.

Tuning out from the conversation continuing behind the curtain, he took a moment to think about the implications of the results which were to be delivered to Kate in the next few minutes. He didn't doubt her strength to face this battle head-on if need be, but he had reservations about his own strength. His feelings for her ran deeper than friendship, and he knew enough about this disease to know that it didn't just affect the person suffering from the illness, but had a profound affect on those around them, and deep down he was concerned about whether he could stand to see her suffer, potentially to her death. And children? He knew that she wanted kids, had told him so months earlier, and this could certainly throw a spanner in her plans. His mind flashed to an image of a young girl, maybe three, blonde pigtails swinging through the air as she ran around the playground. Kate watched from a short distance away, feeding a young boy, his hair dark like his fathers. The boy, more interested in running around with his sister than eating, batted the spoon away with his chubby little hand. Giving up on feeding the stubborn boy, Kate places the jar on the bench beside her, lifting the boy out of his pusher before placing him gently on the ground, allowing his little legs a moment to balance before she let him go, smiling as she watched him toddle over to his big sister. A pair of arms wrap around her from behind, kissing her neck softly as he ran his hands over the small swell in her stomach. 'Mike…' something grabbed his hand, pulling on it lightly, interrupting his daydream.

'Mike?' a female voice asked again, 'Are you ok?' she questioned, noticing the far away look in his eyes.

'Huh?' he said, confused, 'Oh sorry?' he apologised, noticing Kate sitting back next to him, confusion etched on her features.

'Where did you go just now?' she whispered, not wanting to disturb Marcus who was furiously writing notes on the pages in front of him.

'Nowhere,' he replied, visions of their children drifting from his mind. He watched as the other man sat up, facing the pair. Seeing the emotionless expression on his face, Kate grabbed Mike's hand again, squeezing it as tight as she dared. 'Kate, I have your results here. What I've done is compiled the biopsy results with those of the mammogram, and from your initial examination with Doctor Peters, so we have a complete picture of this issue,' he paused, unsure of how to tell the young woman the next part, 'The biopsy we completed earlier in the week confirmed our suspicions that the lump is malignant.' Kate squeezed Mike's hand tighter as her fears were realized, tears rolling from her eyes as the word "malignant" rolled around in her head. She had cancer. Test results confirmed it. Barely thirty-five and she was facing death. She unsuccessfully choked back a sob, reaching for the tissues she'd spotted on the desk as she dabbed at her eyes. Having delivered news like this on more than one occasion, Marcus gave her a few minutes to process the information before continuing. 'The cancer itself is defined as stage two, and I'll give you some information regarding treatment options, but having spoken with an oncologist about your case, we believe the best course of treatment would be for you to have a mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy. I know this is a lot to take in, but the good news is we've caught this cancer fairly early and with swift treatment, I believe you can beat this.' The older man reached out to grab Kate's other hand, currently gripping a sopping tissue like it was the last thing on earth, squeezing it in some form of reassurance. Continuing, he spoke softly, 'I'll give you a referral to see an oncologist and she'll go through the treatment options with you in more depth and will be more equipped to answer your questions.' Kate nodded miserably, resisting the urge to bury herself in Mike's arms. A few minutes later, after a one-sided conversation the appointment was over, Mike standing to shake the other mans hand before helping a near catatonic Kate to her feet, supporting her weight as she all but collapsed into his arms, the diagnosis proving to be too much for her to deal with. Mike took the stack of paper that was offered by Doctor Green, thanking him politely as he led Kate from the room, passing the stunned receptionist, dragged once again from her online conversation by Kate's loud sobs. Exiting the building, Mike stopped the pair in the park opposite the hospital, carefully sitting them down on the bench, tucking his pile of paper under their hats as he took the devastated woman in his arms, their tears mingling together as they processed the news that had changed the course of their lives.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Here's the next part guys. Enjoy! Cheers to Bebe who looked over this for me.

**Chapter 5**

Perched in the Captain's chair on the Bridge, Kate stared out to sea, watching the sun rise ahead of the Hammersley, the sky a spectacular shade of orange as the sun began its ascent, warming the land around it. Alone on the Bridge, the silence was comforting as she allowed thoughts of her future to flood her mind. After her breakdown following her diagnosis, Kate's resolve had strengthened and she was determined to beat the disease that had made its home in her body. Her mind turned back to the conversation she'd had with Commander White, three days earlier. To say the Commander was shocked at the young Lieutenant's diagnosis was an understatement. While Kate sat in the office across from the older woman she listened as the other blonde hastily organised an indefinite term of leave, allowing Kate to complete a final patrol. Due to return to Cairns in four days time, Kate hadn't yet told the crew of her illness, with the exception of Mike, however they would be informed after they returned to Port. The silence on the Bridge was broken by approaching footsteps and she looked around to greet the approaching person. Unsurprisingly, she found herself staring into the blue eyes of her Commanding Officer. Looking down she noticed two steaming mugs clutched in his hands. Passing her a mug containing a light coloured liquid, she hesitantly took a sip, burning her tongue on the hot substance, an unfamiliar taste sliding across her tastebuds as she swallowed. 'What is that?' she asked, trying to decipher the flavour.

'Green tea,' he told her, watching as her face screwed up in disgust. Smirking, he continued, 'It's good for you.' She looked unconvinced, but took another sip, touched at his obvious concern for her health. Reaching out to close the gap between them, his rough hand met with her soft one, squeezing it gently. 'How are you feeling?' he whispered, not wanting to break the quiet that had settled between them.

'I'm fine,' she told him, 'a little tired, but I've been up half the night.'

'Get some sleep; I'll take over up here.' Kate shook her head.

'You don't need to make allowances for me Sir.' Her slight shift into professional mode shocked him slightly, and he responded in kind.

'Don't make me make it an order X.' Sighing, she stood from her position in the Captain's chair, stretching her lithe body before vacating the Bridge, leaving Mike alone in the space.

Dropping her exhausted body onto the couch, Kate lay down, swinging her feet up onto the soft fabric. The night with the Crew had proved to be tiring, and she had excused herself from bar, heading home to rest before her appointment in the morning. Coming into the living area, Mike noticed Kate lying across the couch, her eyes closed, and she looked to be asleep. Taking a seat on the wooden coffee table beside her, he took the opportunity to caress her face. As he watched her sleep peacefully his thoughts slipped back to earlier that evening.

_Following their arrival into Cairns the crew of the Hammersley had adjourned to the pub for the first of many celebratory drinks. An hour after the first sailors arrived at the small bar they frequented, they were joined by their Commanding Officer and his Executive. Mike, sensing Kate's nervousness at the news she had to share, stopped at the bar, ordering their usual before approaching the Crew, who had taken up residence in one corner. It was Dutchy who first noticed their arrival, watching as his bosses' hand wound itself around Kate's, giving it a light squeeze. Seeing Dutchy staring intently at them, Mike dropped her hand none to gracefully, taking a long sip from his beer. 'Boss, X,' Dutchy greeted the pair as they stopped in front of the group. The other's followed the Buffer's lead, each offering their own greeting to the two senior officers. A comfortable silence settled over the group as they sipped at their drinks, thankful to be back on dry land after encountering a severe storm as they returned to Port. Wanting to address the Crew before they had a chance to drink more, Kate sat her glass on the table in front of her. 'Guys, there's something I need to share with you.' All eyes turned to her, Mike again gripping her hand, running his thumb gently over its back. 'Two weeks ago I discovered a small lump in my breast. On Thursday last week, it was confirmed that the lump is cancerous.' Kate paused, scanning the stunned faces of her crewmates, 'The patrol that we just completed was my last before my leave officially started.'_

'_When do you begin treatment Ma'am?' Swain asked, the first to find his voice._

'_I've got an appointment with the Oncologist at 0800, I'll know more after that.' Everyone was silent as they processed what they had been told. Charge interrupted the unnatural quiet, raising his glass above him, 'I propose a toast, to the X. May your strength get you through the battle ahead, and know that we'll be right there beside you as you fight this monster. To the X,' he concluded, taking a drink from his glass. _

'_To the X,' the group repeated each mimicking Charge's actions._

Not long after Kate and Mike had left the group, the woman almost succumbing to exhaustion as she struggled to keep up with the conversations around her. Mike watched as she slept peacefully, the events of the past week finally catching up with her. Satisfied that she was sleeping comfortably, he moved to remove her shoes, gently taking them off and sitting the footwear on the ground at the end of the couch. Leaving her asleep, he went to her bedroom, pulling the covers back off the bed, revealing the dark blue sheets underneath. As he shifted the arranged pillows, a photograph fell to the floor. Picking it up curiously, he is surprised to see his younger self staring back at him. The photo, taken during their brief relationship almost a decade ago, depicted the two of them standing in the ocean as the waves lapped around their ankles. Broad smiles were plastered on both their faces, as he bent over her, holding her precariously close to the water. Running a finger across the glossy image, he slid it into its home, letting the memories of that day wash over him. Returning to the lounge, he was surprised to see that Kate had woken, and was sitting up, rubbing her tired eyes. 'Hi,' she said, her voice thick with sleep. Stifling a yawn, she hopped up off the couch gracefully, stretching her body, the shirt she was wearing sliding up her body, revealing a line of creamy skin above the waistband of the jeans she was wearing. 'Thanks for bringing me home.'

'No problem. Is there anything I can get for you?' he asked, staring at her as she swivelled her body around, attempting to work the aches out of her muscles. She shook her head as she continued her movements, noticing him watching her curiously. 'What?' Kate asked.

'Can I ask you something?'

'Sure.'

'Does it hurt?'

'The lump?' He nodded. 'Not anymore, it was sore after the biopsy, but I don't feel it now.'

'I'm sorry you have to go through this,' he said, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

'Don't be,' she told him optimistically, 'I'm not. We never know our own strength til it's tested. This is just another test. And I'm not going to fail.'


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok, next chapter guys. Typing this was rather painful after I suffered rather severe burns to my fingers on my left hand. Hurts like hell.**

**Thanks to Bebe for the beta.**

**As it's Pink Ribbon Day I want to dedicate this chapter to everyone who has suffered from or knows someone suffering from this disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.**

**Chapter 6**

Tiredly running her hand through her hair, Lieutenant Nikki Caetano picked up her cooling mug of coffee, taking a sip of the liquid before placing the crockery back on the bench. The computer in front of her beeped signalling a new email message. Clicking on the link, the message popped up on her screen,

_Kate's sick._

There was nothing else contained in the email. Her hand flew to her mouth, at that moment she was glad to be sitting down as a sharp cry fell from her lips. 'Ma'am are you ok?' a passing Sailor asked, having heard his superior officer's cry.

'Yes Leader, everything's fine,' she said, gesturing for him to leave. Still in shock, Nikki thought back to the last time she'd seen the blonde Lieutenant. She'd seemed fine, with the exception of the massive hangover that everyone was suffering from after their drinking efforts. Logging off her email, she stood, straightening her uniform as she left the room, heading to the Bridge to commence her watch.

Entering the small café, Kate ordered a coffee, taking a seat on one the overstuffed couches that sat next to the window, overlooking the tidal wash. The tide was out, the damp mud glistening in the scalding heat of the day. Despite the early hour, the humid heat had already made its presence known, the air conditioning unit in the small café blasting out cool air to keep the patrons comfortable. As her coffee was slid in front of her by the young waitress, Kate offered her thanks, and the young girl went back to her place behind the counter, pausing to collect a few empty cups on her way. The couch opposite her groaned as a body dropped onto it. She looked up, noticing a young brunette watching her curiously. 'How are you feeling Kate?' she asked, watching as the older woman stirred sugar into the oversized mug of coffee sitting before her. The blonde looked up, offering the other woman a small smile. 'I'm good thanks Bec, how are you?' Bec gave her a look that said she didn't believe a word of it, but she didn't voice her thoughts.

'You spoke to 2Dads?' Kate asked. Bec nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Despite leaving the Navy months earlier, she was still in regular contact with the crew, mostly due to her relationship with 2Dads. The Chef, currently working in one of Cairns' many restaurants, usually joined her former crew at the Pub on the rare occasions they were in Port. Last night though, she'd had to cover the apprentices shift and didn't arrive at the pub until well after Kate and Mike had left. 'I'm sorry Kate,' she said, breaking the silence that had settled over them after Kate's question. 'Is there anything I can do?'

'Not really. I've been to the Oncologist and went through the treatment options. I've got another appointment on Monday to finalise how the treatment will work.'

'You're on leave?' Kate nodded, taking a sip from her coffee, letting the hot liquid slide down her throat.

'How's the job?' Kate asked, wanting to not discuss the cancer any longer, she'd had enough of that for one day after her earlier appointment.

'It's good, different from the Navy, but I'm enjoying it. Not too good at taking orders from the Head Chef though,' Bec explained, a slight smile on her face.

'That doesn't sound like you at all,' Kate responded. 'You haven't been there long though have you?'

'Few weeks, I went down to spend sometime with my family.' A gust of hot air blew into the café as the front door was opened. A tall man dark haired man approached the pair, gesturing for Kate to shift over so he could sit. 'Rebecca, how are you?'

'I'm good thanks Sir, how are you?'

'Not to bad. I think 2Dads was looking for you, I spotted him outside on the Esplanade.'

'Thanks Sir. Kate, I'll talk to you later,' Bec said, quickly vacating her seat and rushing out the door. Mike watched the retreating form of his former Chef then turned his attention to the blonde woman now sitting next to him. Picking up the mug that was sitting in front of her, he took a sip, grimacing as the bitter taste assaulted his tastebuds. Setting the mug back on the table, he threw his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, 'How'd it go with the Doctor this morning?'

'It was what I expected, I'm going back Monday, to finalise the treatment, but in the meantime I've got a lot of information to sift through.' Mike nodded, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, reassuring himself that she was still there next to him.

The frigate pulled into Port in Darwin, the young Lieutenant rushing from the ship as soon as she was granted permission by her senior officers. A bag slung over her shoulder, she hopped into a waiting taxi, hastily giving directions to the driver to head for the airport. Although she was not aware of the nature of Kate's apparent illness, the two-worded email she received was enough to entice her to fly to Cairns for her shore leave. Arriving at the airport, she paid the taxi driver, grabbing her bag and rushing off to the check-in counter. Her bag checked in, she stopped at small kiosk to grab a coffee before she headed into the terminal to await her flight departure in just over an hour's time.

Hours later, her plane touched down at Cairns airport, skidding across the runway as it slowed down to approach the terminal. Following the signs to the baggage claim area, Nikki attempted to push through the crowd of people dawdling through the narrow passageway. Twenty-five minutes after they landed Nikki spotted her bag travelling towards her on the carousel and she was quick to snap it up, exiting the terminal into the cool night air. Making her way back to the Taxi rank, she gave the driver the Kate's address, sitting back against the leather seat, stifling a yawn as the days events caught up with her. The young man in the drivers seat noticed her uniform, 'Tough day Ma'am?' he asked, used to seeing Navy personal around the city, though not usually coming from the airport. 'Just long. I only got into Port a few hours ago, and I flew straight here.'

'New posting?'

'No. Just back for a visit to see my former crew.' The driver nodded, turning the car into Kate's street on Cairns' outskirts. She paid the driver, thanking him as she dragged her bag across the backseat and back over her shoulder. Taking her hat in her free hand, she watched as the taxi drove off. A light inside the townhouse indicated that someone was home and Nikki made her way up the path, the smell of freshly cut grass assaulting her senses as she approached the door. Climbing the small flight of steps, she stopped in front of the door, raising her fist to knock on the solid wood. She could hear footsteps inside approaching the door and the lock snapped out of place as the door fell open. 'Nikki?'


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm on a roll. Thanks to Bebe for the beta.

**Chapter 7**

'Kate?' Nikki responded, dropping her bag on the verandah as she threw herself into her friends arms. Kate barely had time to catch the young woman, wrapping her arms around the small frame of her friend.

'What are you doing here?' she asked, slightly confused as to Nikki's presence in front of her. Reluctantly, Nikki stepped out of the hug, ignoring Kate's question. Not receiving an answer, Kate gestured for the Nikki to come in. Collecting her bag from the ground, Nikki entered the small townhouse, dropping her bag just inside the door.

'Kate, who's at the door?' a male voice called out, one which Nikki recognised immediately.

'Mike,' Nikki responded, stepping into his line of sight and rushing over to give him a firm hug. 'I got your email,' she whispered, 'Bit light on detail though.'

'Take a seat Nik,' he said, picking up his mug from the table, sipping at the liquid carefully.

'Can I get you anything Nikki?' Kate asked, pausing in the doorway.

'I'm fine thanks. I don't mean to be rude, but what's wrong?' Kate took a deep breath, finally getting sick of telling people that she was ill. She might as well have posted it on Facebook as her status update, she could see it in her head _"Kate McGregor has breast cancer,"___that'd get a few comments, and be so much easier than telling people in small groups. She made a mental checklist, who else did she still need to tell? Buffer, definitely. Spider, no Buffer would take care of that, she'd heard the young Able Seaman was still serving with his old Buffer. Her estranged family in England and Australia, absolutely not. Long lost friends from school, if they hadn't bothered to inform her of developments in their lives, she shouldn't have to update them on hers. Someone calling her name pulled her from her thoughts. She shook her head, clearing her mind,

'Sorry, I was just thinking.'

'Kate, are you alright?' Mike asked, ignoring Nikki for the moment, his concern only for the woman before him.

'I'm fine. To answer your question, I've got cancer. Stage two breast cancer.' Nikki's hand flew to her mouth as she leapt across to take Kate in her arms again, failing to keep her emotions in check.

'Oh my God, Kate…' she trailed off, unsure of what to say as salty liquid began to flow down her cheeks.

'I'm ok Nik. I'll be fine, you don't need to worry.' Kate ran her hand down her friends back, attempting to soothe the young woman's tears. Pulling back, Nikki reached up to wipe her tears as she returned to her original seat.

'Nik, you look exhausted,' Kate told her.

'We docked this afternoon, I flew straight here.'

'And can I ask how you knew to come?'

'I got a tip from an anonymous source.'

'An anonymous source named Mike Flynn perhaps?' Kate asked, looking pointedly at the man sitting silently beside her.

'I can neither confirm nor deny. I can however confirm I'm exhausted, and should probably find a hotel,' Nikki said, making a move to get up.

'No. You can stay in the spare room, I've taken your bag up there.'

'Kate, I don't want to intrude.'

'You're not intruding, I want you here.'

'Alright, but if you don't mind, I'm gonna head to bed.'

'It's fine Nikki, I'll see you in the morning.' Nikki stood up, giving Kate's hand a quick squeeze as she passed. A moment later the door to the spare room clicked shut and Kate and Mike were again left alone.

'Thank you,' she whispered when they were alone. His response was muffled by her hair as he pressed a kiss to her head.

'I should head off.'

'Stay,' she pleaded, hating how needy she sounded.

'Are you sure?' he asked quietly.

'I want you to hold me,' she admitted, staring into his eyes, seeing the concern etched in them, 'I don't think I can do this without you.' His eyes filled with tears and he fought to keep them at bay. Reaching up to wipe the stray drops that had fallen from their ducts, she was unsurprised when his arms wound around her neck, pulling her closer until their lips were only inches away. They paused for a brief second before their lips met, softly at first, but it quickly deepened as months of frustrations were played out with the duelling of tongues. Feeling dizzy, they both pulled away, their foreheads resting together as they struggled to catch their breath.

'I can't lose you Kate,' he said huskily, still trying to normalise his breathing.

'I'm not going anywhere,' she replied, attempting to reassure herself as much as him, 'Except maybe to bed.' To say he looked like a deer caught in the headlights was an understatement, 'To sleep Mike, get your mind out of the gutter,' she told him, slapping his chest lightly.

'Alright then, I'll help you with that Miss McGregor,' he said, pulling her up from the couch and taking her in his arms again, leading her towards her bedroom.

Kate woke the next morning after what had to be the most fitful sleep she'd had in weeks. As she stretched out her stiff muscles her arms collided with the solid form of another person. Rolling over, she came face to face with the blue eyes of her former Commanding Officer.

'Morning,' she whispered, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

'Morning gorgeous,' he responded, pulling her towards him for a earth-shattering kiss. Moving away, breathless, Kate turned away, sitting up, her bare feet landing on the cold wooden floor, the temperature sending a shiver up her spine. Pushing her petite frame off the bed, she stood up taking a shaky step towards the ensuite. She emerged from the small room a few minutes later, fiddling with the thin singlet she was wearing. Mike watched as she pulled the material down, attempting to cover the thin line of flesh that had been revealed. 'What?' she asked, catching him staring.

'Have I told you how beautiful you are?' Shaking her head, Kate's cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she dipped her head, avoiding his piercing gaze. Immediately Mike leapt up to stand before her, slipping his fingers under her chin, lifting her head back up.

'Kate. Don't do that.' Closing the distance between them, he pressed his lips against hers gently, winding his arms around her body, pulling her flush against him. Pushing him away before they went to far, Kate took a moment to catch her breath before leaving the room, leaving a stunned Mike in her wake.

Nikki was sitting at the kitchen table, flicking through the local newspaper, a cup of coffee clutched in her hands. 'Morning,' Kate said, walking into the kitchen to grab her own coffee.

'Morning,' Nikki replied, 'How'd you sleep?'

'Better than I have in ages.'

'What time did Mike leave?' Kate turned away from the other woman, not wanting Nikki to see her blush.

'He didn't.' Nikki squealed.

'Are you two together?' Kate shrugged,

'I don't know. We haven't discussed anything.'

'But he stayed here last night? I'm assuming in your bedroom since I haven't seen him on the couch.'

'I just…' Kate paused, trying to collect her thoughts, 'I don't want to start something with him, if…'

'In case anything happens to you,' Nikki finished, reaching out to grab her friend's hand. Kate nodded, not trusting herself to speak. 'Kate, he cares about you. He emailed me because he's worried about you. He doesn't want you to do this alone.'

'I know,' Kate whispered. 'And I'm so grateful that you came. You'll never know how much it means to me.'

'I just wish I could stay.'

'When do you have to go back?'

'We set sail again at the end of the week. Six month deployment in the Middle East.'

'Frigates eh? Thought you were a Patrol Boat girl.'

'You know how it is. You don't get to pick and choose where you go. Besides, it's not as bad as I thought.'

'Give me Patrol Boats any day,' a male voice interrupted, entering the kitchen, immediately taking the mug of coffee from Kate's hands. 'None for you, I bought you some Green Tea.' Kate's face fell.

'No way. Not happening. That stuff is…words don't describe how awful that stuff is.'

'You'll get used to it.'

'Not likely,' Kate scoffed, angrily taking the mug of tea that Mike had prepared for her. Nikki watched the pair with interest as they interacted in the small kitchen, moving around each other flawlessly as they prepared breakfast. Kate dug through the cupboard, triumphantly pulling out a small jar of Vegemite, while Mike manned the toaster which sat in one corner. Waiting for the toast to pop, Mike took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Kate's waist, oblivious to the woman sitting at the table, a broad smile on her face. Pressing small kisses along her jawline, he ran one hand across her flat stomach, visions of her carrying their child assaulting his mind. The "pop" of the toaster interrupted his thoughts and he reluctantly let Kate go, turning to throw the toast onto a plate, handing it off to Kate before reloading the toaster. 'So,' Nikki asked, as Kate sat next to her at the table, 'What should we do today?'


	8. Chapter 8

A/N; Onward and Upward. This is probably going to be the last chapter for a while. But I'll do my best to get it written and posted as soon as possible.

Thanks to all who have left feedback so far, and cheers to Bebe for the beta.

**Chapter 8**

The sun was burning down on the footpath, bringing with it a sticky heat. The humidity of the day had already scared most people indoors where they had the comfort of air-conditioning. However, braving the sticky heat, and generally enjoying the feel of solid land beneath their feet were three Naval officers, who were currently meandering along the waterfront en route to the pub to have a few drinks with the Crew before the Hammersley left Port again the next day. Arriving at the Pub, they were unsurprised to find the rest of the crew waiting, having taken up residence on the balcony that overlooked the water.

'Oh my God! Nikki!' Bec squealed, jumping up to hug her.

'Hey guys,' Nikki responded over the other woman's shoulder. Crawling out of Bec's tight grip, Nikki made her way over to the rest of the crew, eagerly accepting a hug from each of them. While everyone was occupied with Nikki, Mike and Kate headed to the bar.

'Mike, Kate, how are you guys?' the bartender asked.

'We're good Jack, how bout you?' Mike asked as he shuffled through his wallet.

'Can't complain. You guys in for a big one?'

'Think so,' Mike responded, pulling his credit card from its housing, 'Take this, just throw everything on that. You know who the crew are.' Jack nodded,

'Sure thing. You want the usual?'

'That'd be good, thanks.' Grabbing the card from where Mike had put it on the bar, Jack turned to stash it away, and set about grabbing their drinks.

'Mike, you didn't have to do that,' Kate whispered in his ear, before bringing her lips around to capture his. Sitting their drinks on the bar in front of them, Jack chuckled to himself as he watched the pair before him, completely consumed in each other. Shaking his head, Jack moved off to serve other customers. Separating reluctantly, Mike pressed a kiss to her forehead, wrapping his arms around her small frame. Turning back to the bar, they picked up their glasses, making their way over to where everyone was assembled.

'Boss, X, nice of you to join us,' Charge said, a gleam in his eye as he noticed Mike's arm thrown haphazardly across Kate's shoulders. The pair in question took a seat on the couch, placing their drinks on the table.

As the afternoon wore on the Crew started to disperse. Bec dragged a drunk 2Dads away, wanting to make sure he got home before she started work later that evening. With a promise that he would be at the ship on time in the morning, the pair left, climbing into a waiting taxi. Close to an hour after Swain and Sally left, the crew had dispersed, in anticipation of an early departure the next day. Leaving Kate and Nikki alone, Mike paid the hefty tab and headed to his apartment to collect some stuff, promising to meet Kate back at her place when he was done. Finishing their drinks, the pair left the bar, the humid heat of the early evening hitting them like a kick in the guts when they stepped out the door. 'I'm starving,' Nikki said, grabbing Kate by the arm and directing her towards The Esplanade. Strolling down the restaurant strip, they were unsurprised to find it practically deserted, the heat of the season forcing many locals away, and the few tourists who dared to brave the humidity were holed up inside their air-conditioned accommodation. Used to the humid weather the girls were unfazed as they stopped at their favourite kebab shop. Ordering their usual, they each grabbed another drink, sitting on one of the metal tables out the front. 'I miss this,' the brunette admitted.

'The stifling heat?'

'No. I've got plenty of that in Darwin too. I miss you guys. Frigates are just…'

'Different?'

'Yeah, and I don't feel at home at all, whereas on the Hammersley, it felt like home.'

'I know what you mean,' Kate admitted, taking another mouthful of her drink, the alcohol combining with the heat, making her feel lightheaded. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she reached up to rub her temples. Nikki looked immediately concerned.

'Kate, are you ok?'

'Just a headache,' she replied, not wanting to worry the scared looking woman before her.

'Kate…' Nikki said, not believing a word of it. Defeated, Kate responded, her voice shaking,

'I should have noticed earlier…Maybe then….'

'Kate, this isn't your fault.'

'I wish I believed you,' she whispered. A young Asian man approached them, handing them their order. Taking the food from the man, Kate finished her drink, dropping the empty can on the table as she stood up. Nikki followed suit, and the pair continued the short walk back to Kate's townhouse.

The next morning Kate and Nikki were on the dock with Bec, watching as the Junior sailors loaded supplies onto the Hammersley under the watchful gaze of Dutchy. Kate and Nikki had accompanied Mike down to the base earlier this morning, and were now waiting for the ship to depart. Mike's already sombre mood had quickly turned to full blown anger when he arrived at the Hammersley to find that his new Executive Officer had failed to turn up on time. As it stood the mystery officer still had yet to arrive, and with the ship due to sail in under an hour, it didn't help his foul mood. Storming across the Gangway and onto dry land, he spoke briefly to Dutchy before approaching the three girls. 'Problem Sir?' Kate asked.

'Apparently NavCom have misplaced my new Executive Officer, they can't get in contact with him.' Then, as if his ears were burning, a young man came speeding along the dock, a bag slung over his shoulder. 'This must be him now,' Kate suggested, watching the flustered person approach.

'Commander Flynn?' he surmised, noticing that Mike was the only one of the four who was dressed in uniform, 'Lieutenant Davies,' he said, offering his hand for Mike to shake. Ignoring it, Mike responded, 'You're late Lieutenant.'

'I apologise Sir, I…' Mike cut him off, calling Bird, who raced over to her Boss,

'Yes Sir?'

'Please show Lieutenant Davies to his quarters.'

'Yes Sir.' Bird gestured for him to follow, happily chatting with the confused young man as they made their way aboard.

'Dutchy?' Mike called.

'Sir?'

'All the supplies loaded?'

'Yes Sir.'

'Very well, call Specials in ten minutes.'

'Yes Sir,' Dutchy responded, turning to board the ship.

'Nikki, Rebecca, could you give us a minute?' Mike asked, his voice much softer. The two girls nodded their ascent, walking off to one side, watching as the Sailors on the Hammersley raced to move supplies inboard. 'Kate,' he whispered, his voice laced with sadness, 'How am I going to do this without you?' Reaching up to run her hand down his cheek, she responded,

'You did fine before I came. Mike, you're not alone out there, you've got the rest of the crew to back you up.'

'I know, but Kate, I'm worried about you. What if something happens while I'm gone?' Suddenly she understood his fear.

'Nothing is going to happen Mike. This isn't going to beat me. I promise, I'll be here when you get back.' Ignoring their very public location, Kate pulled him closer, capturing his lips with her own. It was meant to be brief, a quick goodbye, but when his mouth opened beneath hers all rational thought flew from her mind, allowing her to be absorbed in the moment. His arms snaked around her small body, dragging it impossibly closer, so he could feel every inch of her against him. Their bodies fused together, he allowed his hands to wander, one tangling itself in her hair, while its mate held her body in place. Her hands, once used to pull him to her, were now wandering down the planes of his back, committing each muscle to memory. Only vaguely aware of their surroundings they continued their explorations, breaking apart briefly a grab another mouthful of air before continuing on. Suddenly a bell chimed, and a loudspeaker roared into life 'Special Sea Dutymen and Cable Party close up. Assume Damage Control State Three: Condition Voyage.' Groaning in dissatisfaction, Mike reluctantly broke their embrace.

'I better go,' he said quietly.

'Ok,' Kate whispered, still struggling to catch her breath, 'Stay safe.' Placing a final kiss on his cheek, she watched as he turned towards the Hammersley,

'Kate?' he said, pausing in his journey to the gangplank, 'I love you.'

'I love you too,' she said, hurrying over to him, kissing him soundly before pushing him towards the boat. 'I'll see you in three weeks,' she told him, watching as he climbed aboard.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: _Any medical details mentioned in this and subsequent chapters have come from research that I have done for this fic, and if anything is incorrect I'll happily adjust, just let me know.  
Cheers to Bebe and Cami for looking over this for me and making sense of my lunacy.  
And massive hugs to SM for her unwavering support for this.  
Thanks to all who've left feedback, and as always, let me know what you think_

**Chapter 9**  
Nikki's hand shook as she lowered her mug to its saucer. Sitting in the small hospital café, she was waiting for Kate to return from radiology. Having accompanied Kate to her oncologists appointment that morning at Mike's request, she now had a much deeper understanding of just what her friend was facing. As Nikki sat listening to Kate and her doctor calmly discuss a treatment plan for the cancer that had invaded her body, she struggled to hold back her emotions, dissolving into tears in the small office. Now sitting alone, she was having difficulty comprehending the gravity of the situation that her former Executive Officer found herself in. Pulling her phone from its current housing in her pocket, she slid the screen upward to reveal the keypad. Dialling a familiar number, she listened as the phone went straight to messagebank. Leaving a brief message, Nikki slid the cover back down, dropping the phone on the table as she took another sip from her coffee. 'All done,' Kate said, sliding onto the chair opposite, 'You ok Nik?'  
'Shouldn't I be asking you that?' Nikki responded, deliberately avoiding Kate's question.  
'Nikki…'  
'It was just a little overwhelming I guess. I suppose a part of me didn't believe it until I heard it from the doctor's mouth. It solidified it for me.' Kate reached over to take the younger woman's hand in her own.  
'It's alright Nikki, I can beat this. I'm not going anywhere.'  
'I'm just afraid…'  
'Of what?'  
'I'm not going to be here. I'm going to be away for six months, and you're going to be here alone, and I can't be here to help you, and God forbid, what if something goes wrong? Kate you're not invincible, much as you like to believe you are. And I'm not going to be here,' Nikki said, struggling to hold back the tears that were beginning to fall. Reaching out to her friend, Kate threw her arms around the other woman, holding her as she allowed the tears to spill over.

* * *

Rising early on Wednesday morning, Kate shoved some clothes in her bag, carrying the small pack into her ensuite to grab her toiletries. Zipping the bag closed, she took a moment to take stock of the sparsely decorated room in which she slept on shore leave. The walls were bare, and she made a mental note to find something to hang, if only to break the monotony of the creamy paintwork. The photograph, which previously lived under her pillow, now had pride of place next to her bed, surrounded by a simple black frame purchased by Mike that weekend when the girls dragged him shopping. Picking the object up from the bedside table, Kate held it in her hands, running a finger over the glass as she thought of Mike and the email she'd received from him the day before.

_My beautiful Kate, _  
_There are no words to describe how much I wish I could be there with you tomorrow. Just know that although I'm not physically with you, you are constantly in my thoughts. You, my dear Kate, are my first thought when I wake, and my last each night. I know you're scared, but I know you can beat this._

_Thinking of you always, _

_All my love, _  
_Mike._

Collecting her bag from the floor, Kate stood, taking one last look at her room as she walked out of the room, making her way to the kitchen where Nikki was waiting. 'Ready to go?' she asked, watching Kate approach.  
'As I'll ever be,' Kate responded, following Nikki out to the car.

Pulling up at the Hospital, Kate climbed out, heading through the front door while Nikki went to park the car. Following the overhead signs, Kate proceeded to the admissions desk, giving her name to the cheery woman who sat behind it, plucking away at the computer keyboard. Filling out the appropriate paperwork and handing it over, she was directed to a small bank of chairs along the wall, 'Someone will be along to collect you shortly.' Kate nodded and turned to take a seat, watching a slightly red Nikki approach.  
'Did you run all the way?' Kate asked a hint of amusement in her voice.  
'Yeah,' she replied, still catching her breath.  
'Kate McGregor?' a middle aged woman asked, approaching the pair.  
'Yes,' Kate responded, picking her bag up from the floor and slinging it over her shoulder.  
'Follow me, I'll get you settled.' The woman led the pair along the corridor, stopping outside an empty room and gesturing for Kate to enter. 'There's a gown on the bed for you to change into, I'll be back in a minute with the doctor.'  
'Thanks,' Kate responded, dropping her bag onto the bed, sighing as she picked up the papery garment, 'These things are revolting,' she declared, not even trying to hide her distaste for the standard issue clothing. Nikki laughed, watching as Kate disappeared into the nearby bathroom. She emerged again a few minutes later clad in the off white gown, which fell to just above her knees. Nikki had to bite back her laughter as Kate walked along, struggling to adjust the gown so it covered more of her pale body. 'What's so funny?'  
'Just…you…in that…'  
'Classy, Nik, real classy,' Kate responded, shaking her head at her friend. Hopping up onto the bed, Kate leaned her body up against the headboard, letting her head fall against the wall. A knock on the door disturbed the pair. 'Good morning Kate, how are feeling today?' Doctor Marsh, Kate's oncologist, said as she entered the room.  
'I'm good thanks, how are you?'  
'Fine, thank you. I just want to run through today's procedure with you if that's ok.'  
'Absolutely,' Kate said, giving the woman her full attention as she began to run through the operation that Kate was due to undergo this afternoon. Finishing her explanation, Dr. Marsh stood to leave, 'Ok Kate, I'll see you in a couple of hours.' As Dr. Marsh left, the nurse from earlier came back into the room, 'I just need to sort out a few things, then I'll leave you to spend some time together.'  
'Of course.'  
'Right or left handed?'  
'Right.'  
'Ok,' the woman replied, snapping a clip onto Kate's index finger, as the machine next to her sprung to life, a beeping noise filling the air in time with Kate's beating heart. Continuing her work, the woman wound a plastic bracelet around her left wrist, before setting to work hooking up an IV line. 'There ya go, someone while be back to grab you in a couple of hours.'  
'Thanks,' Kate told the woman as she left the room. The room now void of medical professionals, Kate turned to the brunette beside her, 'So…tell me about the Frigates.' Nikki laughed as she began her story.

* * *

Two hours later Nikki watched as Kate was wheeled through a set of double doors that led to the operating theatre. Waving goodbye to her friend, Kate wiped at the stray tears that had begun to leak from their ducts. Nikki was rooted to the floor, watching her friend being taken away, the realisation that her friends life was in the hands of the doctors and nurses who lay beyond those doors had hit her with full force as she slowly made her way to the waiting room once the blonde was out of sight. Dropping herself into a hard plastic chair, she mentally prepared herself for what was shaping up to be the longest hours of her life. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she scrolled through her massive contacts list to find the number she was looking for. Highlighting the number and hitting the call button she raised the phone to her ear, listening as a high pitched ringing sound emitted over the line. A click on the other end indicated that the phone had been picked up, 'Hammersley, Leading Seaman Dixon speaking.'  
'RO, it's Nikki, I need to speak to the Boss.'  
'Hold on, I'll get him for you.' The line went quiet for a few moments, before it was picked up again,  
'Nikki, what's wrong?' he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.  
'Nothing. They've just taken her into surgery, we won't know anything for a few hours.'  
'You'll call me when you have some news?'  
"Absolutely. And Mike?'  
'Yes?' he questioned, slightly confused.  
'Kate wanted me to tell you that she loves you, and if anything goes wrong, she doesn't want you to blame yourself, because this isn't your fault, it's just one of those things.' Nikki was met with silence on the other end, and after a few minutes, she was starting to worry, 'Mike?'  
'I'm here,' he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, and she could tell that he was struggling to keep his composure.  
'I'll call you when I know something, okay?'  
'Yeah, thanks Nikki.' The line on the other end clicked, indicating an end to the call, and she could imagine Mike standing on the bridge, battling to keep his composure. She knew all about Mike and Kate's past, Kate had eventually divulged her version of events to her fellow Officer on shore leave one night and the younger Lieutenant had promptly given her then Commanding Officer a piece of her mind. The older man sitting in stunned silence as his Navigator berated him for breaking the heart of the woman he loved so dearly. To say she was pleased that they seemed to be getting their act together was an understatement, even if it took Kate's cancer diagnosis to make it happen.

* * *

Hours later Nikki was pacing the small room, a paper cup clutched in her hands, trying to exert the nervous energy which had built up while she waited for news on her friend. Dr. Marsh, still clad in her surgical scrubs approached the young woman, 'Nikki,' she said, grabbing the woman's arm lightly.  
'Doctor?' Nikki asked, fear evident in her eyes.  
'Take a seat,' she told her, gesturing to a pair of empty seats, taking one for herself. 'Everything's gone as expected with the mastectomy, and the plastic surgeon is completing the reconstruction now,' Nikki breathed a sigh of relief, 'However, when we tested the lymph nodes we found that the cancer had spread from the breast into the nodes as I suspected could be the case. We've removed the lymph nodes, but we won't know the full extent of the spread until the pathology comes back in a few days. But for now, we've done everything that we can surgically to give her the best chance.' Nikki nodded, tears in her eyes, any spread wasn't something she wanted to hear, and it was only going to make Kate's treatment that much harder. 'She should be in surgery for a couple more hours, but someone will be out to see you when we're done, and they'll let you know when you can see her.'  
'Thanks,' Nikki responded, watching as Dr. Marsh stood to leave. Alone again, Nikki shakily pulled her phone from her pocket, dialling the Hammersley. Still not sure of how she was going to frame the information, the phone on the other end was picked up, 'Hammersley, Lieutenant Davies speaking.' Expecting RO on the other end, Nikki was surprised to hear an unfamiliar voice,  
'Lieutenant Davies, I need to speak to Commander Flynn.'  
'Who may I ask is calling?'  
'Lieutenant Caetano, it is a matter of some urgency.'  
'Hold please.' Nikki waited, still trying to process the news herself, knowing that once Mike heard, he'd likely want to turn the Hammersley back to Port, the wrath of his superiors be damned. 'Nikki? Any news?'  
'I just spoke to Dr. Marsh,' she paused, trying to gather her thoughts, 'They're doing the reconstruction now, but when they did the lymph node biopsy, they found evidence of cancer in them.' She heard something akin to a cry on the other end, but knew she had to continue, 'They've removed all the lymph nodes, but they need to wait for pathology to come back in a few days to see the extent of the spread. I'm so sorry Mike.'  
'Not your fault Nikki.'  
'I know, but I feel responsible.'  
'Why?' he asked, confused.  
'Because I'm here, and you're not, and I know that you'd be here in a heartbeat if you could.'  
'True, but Kate made me promise that I wouldn't come back early, she claims that her health isn't a legitimate reason to end a patrol.'  
'Sounds just like Kate. Stubborn as hell.'  
'It's why we love her isn't it?'  
'Yeah, it is,' Nikki responded, tears brimming in her eyes at the thought that they might lose the woman they both cared for, 'Shit,' she muttered under her breath.  
'Nikki?'  
'I'm alright, just spent far too much time alone today. I'll call you when she's awake.'  
'Ok,' he said tiredly, 'I'll talk to you then.' Hanging up the phone, she slumped back against the wall, her head connecting solidly with the solid object, spreading a dull ache through her tired brain.  
'Hey, no need to beat yourself up,' a male voice said, garnering Nikki's attention. Looking up, she noticed a familiar figure standing in the doorway and she jumped up, rushing over to him, colliding with his muscular body, 'Buff, I'm so glad you're here…'


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks to Bebe for the beta.

_For Dreema and her love of the Buff_  
Let me know what you think...

**Chapter 10**  
Looking up, she noticed a familiar figure standing in the doorway and she jumped up, rushing over to him, colliding with his muscular body, 'Buff, I'm so glad you're here…'

Throwing his strong arms around her small frame, he ran his hands up her back, attempting to soothe the emotional woman. Shuffling them over to the chairs where Nikki had previously resided, Buffer sat, loosening his grip on her. She pulled herself away, angrily wiping at the tears that continued to fall.

'How is she?' he asked, the gentleness in his tone betraying the tough façade he put on.  
'Still in surgery, I was just talking to Mike. God I can't imagine how hard it is for him.'  
'Where is he? I thought he'd be glued to the seat.'  
'NavCom sent them out. Three week Patrol. They left Sunday morning. And I have to leave tomorrow. Heading for the Gulf on Friday, six month deployment. And I just…I don't know how I'm going to do it, knowing that she's back here fighting for her life…I don't know if I can.'  
'I know you can. Just think of how upset she'd be if you gave up this opportunity to stay back for her. She'd kick your ass five ways from Sunday.' Nikki laughed,  
'I guess you're right. She apparently told Mike that no matter what happened he had to stay out. Evidently her health isn't as important as staying at sea.'  
'Sounds just like Lieutenant McGregor,' Buffer said, using her formal title.

'So Frigates eh?' he asked, watching her shake her head.  
'What is everybody's obsession with Frigates?'  
'No obsession.'  
'Trust me, I'm coming back to Patrol Boats as soon as I've finished this posting. Way too many Sailors on board for my liking.'  
'Someone beat you in the drinking stakes?'  
'A smart mouthed Able Seaman.' He laughed, imagining the look on her face when she was finally beaten at her own game. Still, she could hold her liquor better than any woman he'd met thus far, and she deserved respect for that. 'Disrespectful little shit. Worse than 2Dads,' she concluded. 'What about you Buff? How's the Patrol Boat service been treating you? I heard you're still serving with Spider.'  
'Yeah, he's finally growing up. Got himself a girlfriend, won't stop talking about her though, it's all I hear day after day.' It was Nikki's turn to laugh, she couldn't really imagine the bumbling young Seaman she once knew being in a serious relationship, it was just unfathomable, but then again…

'Is it true?'  
'Is what true?' she asked, having missed the first part of the question.  
'Bomber and 2Dads?'  
'That…yeah, apparently Swain caught them on the boat and she quit the Navy. Works as a Chef in one of the local restaurants. In fact, she should be here soon. She was dropping in after she finished her shift.' Buffer nodded, rubbing at his eyes tiredly.  
'I'm going to grab a Brew, want one?' he asked, stifling a yawn.  
'Yeah, I'll come with you, no use sitting here, they'll be another couple of hours anyway.' The pair stood, walking slowly towards the small café that Nikki had sat in only days earlier while she waited for Kate.

'How's she doing?' he asked out of the blue.  
'Better than most of us I think. Mike's barely holding it together, but honestly, I think she's still in shock. She changes the subject whenever it's bought up, like she doesn't want to dwell on it or something.'  
'That's to be expected though. Something like this, it could kill her. And she's smart enough to know that.'  
'I think she's spending so much energy focusing on making sure that we're okay, that she's forgetting herself, and I just feel that one day it's going to all hit her, and she'll be a wreck, and we might not be here for that, and she'll be all alone.'  
'I'm sure she won't be alone, Mike'll do everything in his power to make sure he's with her.' Grabbing their cups of coffee, they turned to make their way back to the small waiting room, bumping into a familiar body.

'Buffer!' Bec said, throwing her arms around the him, almost spilling his coffee in the  
process.  
'Hey Bomber,' he said, using her old Navy nickname, 'You just get off work?' he asked, noticing the bag slung over her shoulder, part of a pair of chequered chefs pants hanging through the zipper, as if she'd packed in a hurry.  
'Yeah, idiot Chef let me go early for once, but I've got the breakfast shift in the morning, so I'll be back there at 0600 to do the Prep that all the guys are too lazy to do when they know I'm on breakfast. Stupid Boys Club' Buffer had to bite back his laughter at her assessment of her new colleagues. Apparently she'd lost none of her fight since leaving the Navy, and he pitied anyone on dry land who crossed her. 'So how's life treating you Buff? I haven't seen you in ages.'  
'Usual, Navy's keeping me busy, well Spider's idiocy is keeping me busy.' The girls laughed, knowing Spider's innocent stupidity all too well. Together, the three made their way back to the waiting room that Nikki had occupied alone most of the afternoon. Taking seats in her former position, they carried on an animated conversation until Kate's surgeon emerged from the restricted area hours later.

Nikki stood, noticing the man she had met previously making his way over. Buffer and Bec, seeing Nikki stand hastily ended their conversation, watching Nikki shakily approached the older man. 'Nikki Caetano?' he asked by way of confirmation.  
'Yes,' she responded, her voice scratchy. Offering his hand, he spoke again,  
'I've just completed breast reconstruction on Kate McGregor,' Nikki nodded, waiting for him to continue, 'the surgery went well and she's in recovery now, and should be down on the ward in the next hour. Her oxygen levels did drop significantly during surgery, so we've placed her on oxygen for the moment, but other than that issue, she's doing fine. I'd expect her to wake briefly while she's in recovery, but after that she'll sleep through the night, so I suggest you go home and do the same.'  
'Can we see her?'  
'I can let you see her in Recovery for a few minutes but other than that, no.' Nikki nodded, turning to face the others and gesturing in the direction of the door. Somehow they understood what she was trying to say and they sat back as Nikki followed the Doctor from the room.

She looked so small on the bed. Surrounded by machines at its head, an IV line stood to one side, the liquid from the bag dripping into the tubing below at regular intervals, eventually making its way downward to enter Kate's body. An oxygen mask lay over her mouth and nose, and Nikki could see the outlines of many thick bandages across her chest. 'Five minutes,' the old man had said as he left the room.

She'd muttered a quiet response, stepping carefully around to one side of the bed, taking Kate's free hand in her own. 'Kate?' she whispered, hoping that her friend would wake while she was there. A pain filled groan was the response she received. Not opening her eyes, Kate attempted to reach her hand up to swat the oxygen away, mumbling something that was barely audible. 'Hey, hey, you need that,' Nikki told her, gripping her other hand lightly to still its movements. She saw Kate's lips move again, and her eyes fluttered open, the green orbs filled with pain.

Weakly she tried to pull her hand from Nikki's grip to make another assault on the oxygen mask. Admitting defeat, Nikki lifted it gently from its place on her face, not wanting Kate to injure herself in attempt to shift the object. The barrier finally shifted, Kate whispered again, her voice hoarse, 'Mike…?' Gently placing the mask back down, Nikki ran her thumb across the back of Kate's hand in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture, 'He's on Patrol Kate. Remember?' A tear slipped from her friends eye, and she wasn't sure if it was from the emotional or physical pain that she was feeling at that moment. Nikki wiped it away, 'We can call him tomorrow. I promise, right now, you need to get some rest.' Kate attempted a small nod, her eyes slipping closed as she succumb to the remnants of the drugs that were in her system. Satisfied that her friend was sleeping somewhat peacefully, Nikki freed her hand from Kate's loose grip and left, thanking the staff politely as she made her way back out to where Buffer and Bec were waiting.

Arriving back at Kate's townhouse an hour later, Nikki dropped her bag on the table, extracting her phone. Staring at the object for a few minutes, she slid the cover up to reveal the keypad and scrolled through her recent calls list. Selecting her desired recipient, she hit dial and lifted the phone to her ear.

'Hammersley, Lieutenant Davies speaking.' Great, she thought, not this guy again.  
'Yes, Lieutenant, I need to speak to Commander Flynn.'  
'I'm sorry Ma'am, he's not available at the moment, can I take a message?'  
'Listen, Lieutenant, it is imperative I speak with the Commander, so if you don't mind,' Nikki said, putting on her best "Lieutenant" voice to order the seemingly dim-witted man to do what she wanted.

Hearing another voice in the background, and recognising it as Swain's, she changed tactics, 'Put Petty Officer Blake on please.' Sighing dramatically, she could hear him handing the phone over, and before Swain could speak she started talking, 'Swain, it's Nikki, I need to speak to the Boss, and that idiot won't get him for me. Would you mind?'  
'No problem, I'll transfer you now.'  
'Thanks Swain.'  
Moments later an exhausted sounding Mike answered the phone, 'Nikki?'  
'Sorry to call so late. I've just got back to Kate's.'  
'Everything ok?'  
'She's out of surgery and they were transferring her back to the ward overnight. Everything went well with the reconstruction, but apparently her oxygen levels dropped during surgery, so they've put her on oxygen, and everything's getting back to normal.'  
'Have you seen her?' he asked, his voice full of emotion.  
'For a few minutes in Recovery,' she paused, unsure of whether or not to tell him the rest. Biting the bullet, she continued, 'She was asking for you.'

The other side of the line went quiet, 'Mike?' she asked.  
'I have to see her,' he whispered, 'I don't care what she says. I'm coming back in.'  
'No.'  
'Excuse me Lieutenant?' he said, attempting to use his Rank to get what he wanted.  
'I said "No" Sir.'  
'Why not?'  
'There is nothing you can do here, and you know she'll be less than impressed if you come back in because of her, Sir. I'll call you tomorrow when I'm at the hospital, you can talk to her then. In the meantime Sir, continue with your Patrol.' There was a pause on the other end before he responded, 'Okay. I'll talk to you then. Night Nikki.'  
'Night Sir.' Hanging up the phone, she made her way up to the bedroom where she'd been sleeping, collapsing onto the mattress in an exhausted heap.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback guys. Let me know what you think.**

**Chapter 11**

It was mid morning when Nikki arrived at the hospital, bag thrown haphazardly over her shoulder in preparation for her flight that evening. 'Morning,' a female voice said, startling her. Looking over at the bed, she noticed a bleary eyed Kate staring at her.

'You're awake!' she said.

'Obviously,' Kate rasped in response, taking a sip of the water that sat in front of her, letting the cold liquid sliding down her dry throat. Surveying her friend, Nikki noticed the oxygen mask had been removed at some point and replaced with a tube under her nose. 'How are you feeling?'

'I wish people would stop asking me that.'

'Kate, do I need to remind you that you had surgery yesterday?'

'No, the pain is enough of a reminder, well that and the I've had my fair share of Doctors through here this morning.'

'Do you remember anything about last night?' Kate shook her head,

'Why?'

'You were asking for Mike, when he found out he almost turned the ship around. I told him we'd call today so you can talk.' A smile spread across her face as she thought about talking to Mike. She hadn't heard his voice since he'd reluctantly left on Sunday.

'Typical. I told him not to come back, but does he listen? Of course not.'

'He's just worried Kate, we all are.'

'And I'm fine,' she stated in no uncertain terms.

'No Kate, you're not. As much as you protest otherwise. You have cancer Kate.'

'I don't need you to remind me Nikki. God I just had my breasts cut off, do you think I don't know that I have cancer? That I don't know it could kill me? I'm not that naïve and I'm certainly not that stupid,' the last part came out in a whisper as tears tumbled freely down her cheeks, falling to the bed below. There was a deafening silence in the room, broken by Nikki's quiet apology, 'I'm sorry Kate,' she said, reaching out to her crying friend. Kate slapped her hand away, attempting to curl herself into a ball, despite the tubes that were attached to aching body. None of that hurt as much as her heart though. Unsure of how to soothe the woman before her, Nikki tearfully pulled her phone out, quickly dialling the Hammersley, hoping that hearing Mike's voice would pull Kate from the downward spiral that Nikki had sent her on. 'Hammersley, Leading Seaman Dixon.'

'RO, it's Nikki, can you get the Boss?' she asked, struggling to keep her voice level. Looking over to the bed while she waited for Mike to pick up the other line, Nikki again reached out to grab Kate's hand, trying in vain to soothe her. Once again rejecting her friend, Kate wiped at her eyes, drying the tears that were still falling from their ducts. 'Nikki?' Mike's voice came over the line.

'I'll get Kate for you,' she said, practically throwing the phone at the sobbing mess on the bed.

'Mike?' Kate asked tearfully.

'Kate?' he asked, immediately concerned, 'What's wrong beautiful?' she didn't answer, but he could hear her sobbing on the other end of the line, and it broke his heart. 'Kate, what's wrong? I can't help you if I don't know what's happening.'

'I…just…I…what happens if it's spread too far?' she paused, 'What happens if they can't stop it?' she finished with a whisper.

'Kate, baby, listen to me, we can fight this.'

'I know,' squeezing her eyes shut, she took a deep breath, 'I just wish you were here.'

'I'm coming, I'll turn her round, I can be there in a few hours if that's what you want.'

She paused, regaining some of her composure, 'As much as I want you here, you can't, the Brass will…'

'I don't care about that Kate. I'm no use out here,' the last part came out in a whisper as he struggled to keep his voice calm.

'Mike…'

'Kate, I want to be there for you, I can't do that if I'm out here.'

'I know…but…'

'But what?'

'I don't want you to see me like this…'

'Like what?' he asked, confused.

'They cut my breasts off and replaced them with silicon, I'm not a woman anymore.' Her blunt admission almost broke his heart.

'Kate, you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. No matter what. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.'

'I love you too.' There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Kate heard someone else in the background, before Mike came back on the line again,

'Kate, baby, I've gotta go, I'll talk to you again later. Love you Beautiful.'

'Love you.' There was a click on the other end of the telephone, and Kate pulled the phone from her ear and sliding the cover back into place. Nikki, who'd been standing outside to give Kate some privacy, came back into the room, immediately noticing the change in Kate's demeanour. Her friend seemed slightly happier having spoken with the man in her life. Tempting fate, she again tried to apologise for the earlier incident, coming over to take a place in the chair next to the bed. She was ignored. The older woman shifting slightly in an attempt to turn away, cursing the pain that was coursing through her body as the painkillers slowly began to wear off.

A bouquet of flowers appeared in the doorway an hour after Nikki arrived. Confused by the appearance of the floral arrangement, Kate watched as the flowers came into the room, carried by persons unknown. Not until the bouquet was sitting atop the table to her right, did Kate catch a glimpse of her visitor. 'Buff! What are you doing here?' she asked, unaware that he knew about her current illness.

'Nav called, told me you were here.'

'She did?' Kate asked, eyeing the silent woman who sat next to her.

'Yeah, I had a message on my phone when I got back to Port last night. Came straight here, but you were in surgery.' Kate nodded weakly, stifling a yawn.

'Sorry,' she apologised, fighting to keep her drooping eyelids open.

'It's alright, you need the rest. I'm gonna grab a brew, but I'll be back later.'

'Okay,' she responded, yawning again. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he gestured for Nikki to follow as he left the room. Watching the pair leave, Kate gave surrendered to the desperate need for sleep, falling into an exhausted slumber.

'Hands to boarding stations, hands to boarding stations, hands to boarding stations,' Dutchy's voice called over the speaker. Hanging up the device he currently held in his hand, he rushed to follow his fellow sailors down to the Boarding Party room. Tiredly running his hand down his face, Mike took another mouthful of coffee, grimacing at the bitterness that assaulted his tastebuds. Perched in his chair on the Bridge, he was watching the scene before him, searching for any signs of trouble from the crew on the small fishing boat they'd been tracking for the past two days. Reluctantly, he'd let the imbecile Davies lead the boarding party after the Lieutenant had taken issue with Dutchy leading a Boarding the day before. The young Lieutenant was eager, much like Kate when she first arrived, but, in Mike's opinion, didn't possess the experience necessary to operate effectively as Executive Officer of Hammersley. Looking on as the team boarded the vessel, it seemed his reservations were well founded when his new XO failed to control the small group of fishermen, and Dutchy was forced to step in and control the situation. Shaking his head, Mike jumped up from his chair and began pacing around the Bridge, muttering under his breath. Charge, who'd been watching his Boss with some interest since they left Cairns four days earlier, stepped into his path, reaching up to touch his shoulder lightly, pulling him from the trance he seemed to be in. 'Sir?' Charge asked, concerned about his Boss's current state of mind. From what he'd heard, Mike hadn't slept much since their departure from Port, and spent most of yesterday holed up in his cabin, waiting for news on Kate. 'I don't know why I'm out here,' Mike said all of a sudden, looking into the eyes of the man before him. 'I should be with her. When I spoke to her today, she sounded so scared. What kind of a man leaves the woman he loves to battle cancer alone?' he asked, shaking his head in disbelief, his eyes filling with unshed tears.

'Your job Sir. The X, she understands that this isn't your choice.'

'Does she? She has to be scared out of her mind right now, and she's going to be alone. When Nikki leaves, she'll be alone, and I'll be out here, chasing God knows what around the ocean.' A smile spread across Charge's face, 'What?' Mike questioned, clearly confused.

'We've just caught this FFV.'

'And?' Mike said, not following the older man's train of thought.

'We have to deliver it to the nearest Port. I'm sure I can organise some maintenance for the engines that'll buy you a couple of hours to see her.' Mike's face lit up at the thought of seeing his Kate again and he slapped the other man on the back.

'Good thinking Charge. Make it so.' Charge nodded, returning to his console.

'Sir?' RO piped up, 'Dutchy has the vessel prepared for tow.' Mike nodded, grabbing a radio and heading out to the Quarterdeck to meet his returning sailors.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks to Bebe and Sierra Mike for their beta'ing assistance. **

**Chapter 12**

When Kate finally woke the next morning, the drug-induced fog had lifted from her head. Alone in her room for perhaps the first time in two days, she thought about Nikki, and the bubbly young woman's unwavering support.

The young Lieutenant had flown back to Darwin the night before ahead of her scheduled departure for the Gulf that afternoon. The brunette had returned to Kate's room a couple of hours after she left with Buffer and Kate, in a much more agreeable mood lay back patiently listening as Nikki laid all her thoughts and feelings on the table. Mostly she was scared. Terrified that something would happen to Kate while she was gone. Concerned that Kate would deny her illness until she was blue in the face, only to admit her fears to herself when she was alone, when none of her friends were there to pick up the pieces. Kate held her friend as the pair cried together, ignoring the shooting pains in her chest as Nikki attempted to squeeze the life out of her. When it was finally time for Nikki to head to the airport, she slid the key to Kate's townhouse inside the drawer next to the bed, leaving with a promise to call as often as her Commanding Officer would allow, _"but he's a prick, so it probably won't be that often."_ Kate laughed, giving the brunette another hug, watching as she collected the oversized bag that housed her belongings, slinging it over her shoulder before slowly backing out of the room.

Yawning, Nikki walked across the gangplank, pausing to salute as she boarded the enormous ship she would be calling home for the next six months. Navigating her way through the maze of corridors, she stopped at the door to the cabin she shared with another Lieutenant. Opening the door, she was unsurprised to find her roommate asleep on the top bunk. Dropping her bag on the floor in front of the wardrobe, Nikki began the tedious task of unpacking and storing her belongings. Everything stowed to her satisfaction, she quickly changed out of her Civvies, dropping her exhausted body onto the chair at the desk, and switching her laptop on. Grabbing her camera out of her handbag, she shuffled through the shelves next to her bed, searching for the cable to connect the device to the computer, intent on uploading the photos from her impromptu visit to Cairns, and time permitting, adding them to Facebook, before she was due to begin her Watch in a couple of hours time. Finally locating the desired object she plugged it in, quickly setting it to download. 'Hey Nik,' a groggy voice said. Nikki looked up, seeing her roommate watching her intently.

'Hey,' she responded.

'How was Cairns? Everything ok?' Nikki shook her head,

'Kate's got cancer, she had surgery Wednesday, and is starting Chemo soon.'

'I'm sorry Nik, that's horrible.' Nikki nodded, distracted by the beep of her computer, indicating that it had completed uploading the pictures. Disconnecting the camera, she opened up the folder with all the photos, smiling as images of a carefree Kate popped up on screen. One picture in particular caught her eye though. Taken on Saturday, the photo depicted Mike and Kate on the balcony of the bar, staring out to sea as the sun dipped below the horizon in the West. The sun cast beautiful rays across the sky as it set, framing the couple as they stood together, oblivious to Nikki and her camera. Checking her emails quickly, and sending a quick one to her parents apologising for not visiting before she left, Nikki noticed it was time for her to head up for Watch. Collecting a much needed Brew, she slowly made her way up to the Bridge, preparing for what was set to be an uneventful few hours.

Early Friday afternoon Kate was thumbing through one of the books that she'd bought to keep her entertained while she recovered from surgery. Footsteps in the hall dragged her out of nineteenth century England, and she looked up, spotting a familiar figure in the doorway. 'Mike?' she whispered, not believing that he was standing only a few feet from her.

'Milk chocolate, not dark,' he said, repeating her words from years ago, coming over to her bed, dropping the small box on the table next to her head. Crashing his lips into hers, he was careful to avoid the various lines that ran from her body. His right hand reached up to caress her face while he used his left to support his weight above her body, not wanting to crush her already aching flesh. Reluctantly pulling away, he took her hand in his, taking a seat in the chair next to her bed. 'Hi,' he said, when he caught his breath.

'Hi,' she responded, reaching her free hand over to run it down his face, not believing that he was sitting next to her. 'What are you doing here?'

'Had to bring an FFV back to base.'

'Yeah and go straight back out.'

'I've got a couple of hours. Charge heard a noise in one of the engines.' Kate snorted,

'Those are the best maintained engines in the Fleet, there's no way that they'd be making any sort of strange noises.'

'NavCom don't need to know that,' Mike said, a goofy grin on his face.

'I'm glad you're here,' Kate said quietly, shifting her body slightly so she could pull him towards her, ignoring the pain that shot through her chest. Watching her movements carefully, Mike lay his hand on her shoulder, pushing her back against the mattress gently. Reaching behind her, he found the lever to adjust the bed and slowly raised her into a more upright position. 'Better?' he asked, still seeing the slightest look of discomfort on her face.

'Better,' she affirmed, pulling him closer to the bed. A comfortable silence settled over the pair as Mike allowed his gaze to sweep over her body, memorizing every visible crevice, committing it to memory. Through the thin material of the hospital gown he could see the outline of the thick bandages which hid her reconstructed flesh from view. Grabbing her hand in his, he ran his thumb over the smooth skin on the back of her hand, unable to believe that she was sitting before him, that she'd allow herself to become vulnerable to him again after he hurt her so deeply. Aware that Mike was staring at her so intently made Kate slightly uncomfortable, causing her to shift, pulling the meagre blanket up to her neck, covering up the part of her body she now found so repulsive. Noticing her move to cover up, Mike reached out to stop her, 'Don't,' he whispered, his voice full of love, 'You don't need to cover up, you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.' She shook her head, unable to fathom how any man could find her attractive in her current state. 'It's true,' he reiterated, reaching out to cup her face, wiping the stray tears that had begun to fall. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, her cheek, his lips finally grazing hers in a kiss full of hope and promise. Pulling away, Mike shifted his head to rest in the crook of her neck, relishing the newfound closeness that the pair had gained since her diagnosis. Both knew there was much they needed to discuss, but right at this moment, none of that was important. Right now all that mattered was they were together, drawing strength from one another's love.

A buzzing noise disturbs the pair from their companionable silence. Reluctantly moving his head from its comfortable position, Mike reaches for the phone, pulling it from its home in the pocket of his white pants. Hitting the appropriate button to retrieve the message, his face falls,

_Sorry Boss._

The two words on the screen stare at him mockingly as he slowly begins to stand, his muscles protesting the movement as much as his heart. 'Charge?' Kate guessed.

'He's stalled as long as he can. I have to go.'

'It's okay. I'll be fine,' she said, attempting to reassure him. Reaching up for him, she pulled his face to hers, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss. 'I love you,' she whispered when they finally separated.

'I love you too. I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise.'

'I'll be waiting.' Building up the courage to leave her side, Mike stepped away slowly, not allowing their joined hands to separate until he was out of reach. Kate watched his retreating figure until he was no longer visible, leaning her head back against the pillow, allowing her eyes to slip shut as she allowed sleep to overtake her exhausted body.

Kate woke from her nap an hour later shocked to find Buffer sitting next to her bed in the seat vacated by Mike earlier. 'Hey,' she said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, careful to avoid the IV line that was still firmly attached in the back of her hand.

'How are you feeling?'

'I think the painkillers are starting to wear off,' she admitted, sharp pain spreading through her upper body, 'Can you put the bed back down?'

'Sure,' he jumped to his feet, adjusting the bed that Mike had lifted earlier. Feeling her body level itself out, Kate felt her chest stretch slightly, the pain increasing as her muscles shifted. Biting her lip to keep from crying out, she raised her arm above her head, hitting the call button next to her bed. 'Kate?' Buffer asked, immediately concerned at the look on his friends face. A portly young nurse came into the room,

'How are you feeling love?'

'Pain…' Kate rasped, trying to ignore the increasing pain in her body.

'Ok love, I'll get the Doctor for you.' Kate nodded, grabbing Buffer's hand and squeezing it as an outlet for the pain. Buffer's concern for the woman before him only grew as he watched her writhe on the bed. As her grip on his hand tightened he moved his free hand to wipe away the tears that were pouring from her eyes. Not sure what to say by way of comfort, he was relieved when the young woman re-entered the room, a Doctor Buffer didn't recognise travelling in her wake. Immediately noticing the distress on Kate's face, the Doctor barked out an order for the Nurse to get more pain meds. Coming over to the bed, Dr. Marsh made quick work of checking the monitors that surrounded the bed before turning her attention to Kate. 'Kate, tell me where it hurts,' she asked, trying to ascertain what was causing her patient such discomfort. Unable to speak momentarily, Kate used her free hand to indicate her chest. 'Your chest?' Dr. Marsh asked by way of confirmation.

'Yes,' Kate crocked in response.

'Can you describe the pain?'

'Stabbing…'

'When did it start?'

'She was sitting up when I came in, and woke up in pain. I was lying her back down and I think that's when it got worse,' Buffer supplied, trying to explain the situation as best he could. Dr. Marsh nodded,

'It sounds like muscle spasms. Basically the muscles haven't been working much the past few days and the movements that you've described would have pulled them from their rest state. I'll give you some pain relief which should help with the pain.' Kate nodded miserably, a look of relief spreading across her face when she saw the nurse returning with the pain relief. The drugs were quickly injected into Kate's IV line, and the dosage noted on her chart before the two medical professionals left the room.

Buffer watched as the drugs started to take affect, her once tight grip on his hand loosened and her head fell against the pillow, a small smile beginning to form on her face. 'Kate?' he asked, not sure if she was still on this planet.

'Mmm?'

'You ok?'

'Tired…' Kate said, her mind fogging up. Buffer smiled as she slowly dozed off into a drug-induced slumber. He sat for a few minutes more, watching the rise and fall of her chest as her body relaxed into sleep. Satisfied that she was asleep, Buffer stood up, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead before he vacated the room, leaving his former co-worker alone in his wake.


	13. Chapter 13

Huge thanks to my mini team of beta's Bebe, Cami and Sierra Mike. You guys are awesome

**Please Note, there is a slight M rating on this chapter, the reason will come apparent. If you are offended I apologize.**

Chapter 13  
When Buffer entered Kate's room again a couple of hours later he was unsurprised to find the woman in question still sleeping peacefully. A quick word with the nurse who came to check on her, revealed that she still had not woken after the dose of drugs she was given earlier, something which Buffer was somewhat grateful for. He'd seen the pain that his mother had gone through battling this disease and knew that any peace she got, drug induced or not, was a blessing.

Taking a seat beside the bed, Buffer reached for the discarded paperback novel that was sitting on the table atop a box of chocolates. Picking up the item, he read the title and snorted, trust the X to be reading trashy romance novels, he thought opening the first page and squinting at the small print.

Soon though, he was engrossed in the characters, their lives leaping off the page and creating wonderful images in his mind. He was so deep in concentration on the mushy plot, that he didn't notice the woman on the bed stir.

A loud groan pulled him from the page and focused his attention firmly on the blonde in front of him. 'Ma'am?' he asked formally, watching as her eyes fluttered open.  
'Buff?' she croaked, reaching for the glass of water that was a permanent fixture at her bedside. He graciously passed her the glass, holding it in front of her as she slowly sipped water through the plastic straw.

The cool liquid felt refreshing as it slid down her throat, moistening the dry surface. 'Thanks,' she said, her voice returning to normal, 'How long have you been there?'  
'Not long, I slipped out once you were asleep.'  
'I was asleep?' she asked, confused.  
'You were in a lot of pain, the Doctor gave you some meds and it knocked you out,' he paused, 'You don't remember?' She shook her head in the negative.  
'I remember Mike being here, but after that, it gets a little fuzzy.' Buff squeezed his eyes shut, running his hands down his face not knowing how to frame his next question,  
'Kate, honestly, how are you?' Taking a moment to gather her jumbled thoughts, she spoke quietly,  
'Honestly? I'm scared. I don't know what's coming tomorrow, and that scares me.'  
'You're not alone in this Kate, I hope you know that,' he said, reaching out take her hands in his.  
'I know,' she whispered.

* * *

'Captain has the Ship,' Mike announced entering the Bridge. Hearing his Captain's call, Davies stood up, vacating the chair he had occupied previously. Taking up position in his chair, Mike took a long sip from the steaming mug of coffee he had bought up with him. 'How was Lieutenant McGregor?' Swain asked, mindful to use her formal title. Smiling at the thought of Kate, Mike took a minute to frame his response, 'She's recovering well. We're still waiting for pathology results to determine the spread, and once she's recovered sufficiently, they can start chemo.'  
'I think Sal was going to take Chloe to see her over the weekend.'  
'Kate'll like that,' Mike said, shuffling absentmindedly through a file that he'd been handed.

Davies stood back, watching as the Crew interacted, intrigued by how close they were, almost like an extended family. Admittedly, he was a little confused as to who they were discussing, but he assumed that the she must be someone who had served with them in the past.

Noticing the confused look on his new X's face, 2Dads gestured for him to come below decks. The Lieutenant followed, grateful for a break from the frosty reception his Commander had been giving him since his arrival on Sunday.

* * *

Grabbing a brew and taking a seat in the Junior Sailors, 2Dads began to speak, 'Lieutenant McGregor was our XO, a couple of weeks ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had surgery on Wednesday.'  
'And the Boss went to see her while we were in Port?' 2Dads nodded, 'They were close?'  
'Yeah.'  
'That blonde on the Wharf?' Davies asked, remembering that the Commander was in the company of three women when he arrived at the ship on Sunday.

'Wait a second, are they on together?' Having learnt his lesson about gossiping on the ship, 2Dads declined to answer Davies question, preferring to leave the CO's private life private for once.  
'What the CO does with his private life is no one's business,' 2Dads defended, remembering the serve he'd received years ago for gossiping about a non-existent relationship between his former XO and Buffer.

'Just between us?' Davies asked, hopeful that he could get some dirt on his new Commander, the one who, in his opinion was treating him far too unfairly.  
'I mean it,' was the response, 'Don't go there.' Huffing like a petulant child, Davies opened the door and marched out, leaving 2Dads alone in the mess.

* * *

Kate was deep in conversation with Sally on Saturday morning when one of her regular nurses came wandering in, 'I hope I'm not interrupting,' she said. The young woman had grown quite fond of her patient, and was unsurprised to see another unfamiliar face visiting the blonde. Kate shook her head in response.

'I've just been speaking with Doctor Marsh, and how would you like to have a shower?' Kate's eyes lit up,  
'Really?' she asked, giddy as a school girl.  
'Sure and when you're done Doctor Marsh will be down to check your incisions and change the dressing.'  
'Do you mind Sal?' Kate asked, practically climbing out of bed in her excitement.

Watching the other woman's eager movements she smiled, 'That's fine, I should take Chloe home for a sleep anyway. It's good to see you Kate, I'll come back later in the week.' Sally collected Chloe and left the room, leaving the overly eager blonde to the care of her nurse.

'Ok, I'm just going to unhook this IV for now, and then I'll help you to the bathroom.' She set about capping and disconnecting the line and once Kate was free, she spoke again, 'Ok, swing you legs around and we'll get you up and showered.' Kate did as she was told, somewhat familiar with the movements, wincing as pain shot through her body.

Her bare feet touched the cold floor and she slowly stood up, letting much of her weight fall onto the smaller woman. The pair steadily made their way towards the nearest bathroom, Kate out of breath as she sat in the plastic chair in the shower stall. The other woman quickly fetched the bag that had accompanied Kate to hospital and returned to help the blonde gently remove the papery gown she'd been wearing for days.

Twenty minutes later a much more refreshed Kate was helped back to her bed. Finding it laden with fresh sheets, she eased her body back onto the mattress and caught her breath while she was reconnected to the IV. Now dressed in a comfortable pair of boxer shorts and a loose fitting singlet, Kate was feeling decidedly more human.

She was barely settled back into bed when Doctor Marsh came into the room. 'Hi Kate, how are you feeling?'  
'A lot more human.'  
'I'll bet, but those dressings are fairly soggy right?'  
'Just a tad.'  
'Well they're going to come off today and I'll check the incisions and put some clean ones on, sound good?'  
'Yeah.'  
'Now remember, its not going to be the most beautiful sight. Hopefully there's no infection, but there is going to be a lot of redness and swelling.'  
'Ok,' Kate said, trying to shut her imagination off. Doctor Marsh pulled the curtain closed around the bed and came over to Kate, pulling the spaghetti straps of her singlet down and shifting the material down Kate's small frame.

Gently grasping the edges of the dressing, she pulled it slowly uncovering the injured flesh beneath. Kate watched as the top layer came off, revealing gauze which was quickly removed, giving Kate her first view of her new breasts.

Gasping in shock, she glared at the reddened flesh. Two incisions ran across the middle of her breasts, puckered red around the edges, rows of tiny black stitches holding the flesh together around her new implants. Tears formed in her eyes as she took in the sight of her nipple-less breasts. How could Mike call her beautiful? He'd never seen her like this, and she never wanted him to.

A voice broke through her thoughts, 'Kate, I know, they're not nice to look at, but,' she reached up to wipe away the tears that were flowing freely from her patient's eyes, 'they're healing well, and eventually you'll have nipple reconstruction as well, and the scarring will fade.' Kate nodded through her haze of tears. 'I'm just going to re-dress them, and then I'll let you get some rest.' Doctor Marsh set about re-dressing Kate's breasts, covering them again before pulling the singlet back over the cotton-covered area. 'I'll let you get some rest. If you need anything, call Emily, but I'll be back on Monday with your pathology results.'  
'Okay,' Kate responded, already starting to doze off, the events of the morning already taking their toll on her exhausted body.


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for all the feedback guys. Again, any medical details that appear in this chapter are what I have been able to put together based on my own personal research, any mistakes are not intentional, and I take responsibility for them. If anything is drastically wrong, let me know.

Cheers to Bebe and Sierra Mike for the beta.

This chapter is dedicated to my Uncle who is fighting his own battle against cancer. Sadly, we have learned that there is nothing more to be done, but his courage is truly inspiring. I'm blessed to count him amongst my family

**Chapter 14**  
It was mid morning on Monday when Doctor Marsh entered the room, startling Kate who was concentrating on the newspaper she had spread on the table in front of her.

'Morning Kate,' Doctor Marsh said, once the other woman's attention was focussed on her.  
'Morning,' Kate responded, staring suspiciously at the folder Doctor Marsh held in her hand. 'Are they my test results?' Kate asked, a feeling of dread filling the pit of her stomach.  
'Yes they are.'  
'Before we start, do you mind if I call Mike? If it's not good, then I don't think I'll be able to tell him.'  
'Sure, whatever you need.' The Doctor was aware of the circumstances Kate found herself in with the vast majority of her support base being at sea on various operations. Kate said a quiet thanks, reaching for the pink object she'd convinced Buffer to bring her a couple of days earlier.

Dialling the Hammersley, she listened while the phone sought a connection with the offshore number.  
'Hammersley, Lieutenant Davies.' Kate groaned, she'd heard about everyone's apparent dislike for her replacement, and the issues Nikki had had previously trying to get him to get Mike when asked.  
'Lieutenant, I need to speak with Commander Flynn.'  
'May I ask who is calling?'  
'Lieutenant McGregor.'  
'I'll transfer you now Ma'am.'  
'Thank you Lieutenant.' There was a pause on the line before Mike picked up.

'Kate?' he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.  
'Are you in your cabin?'  
'Yes. Why?'  
'I've got Doctor Marsh here, she has my pathology results, I wanted you to hear them with me, but Mike, you have to promise that you're not going to turn the ship around, no matter what.' The line was silent for a moment,  
'I promise, but Kate…'  
'No buts Mike, if you turn the ship around I won't see you, you understand?'  
'Perfectly Ma'am.'  
'Right, I'm going to put you on speaker.' The line beeped, 'Mike can you hear us?' Kate asked, her voice much more distant, but still clear.  
'Loud and clear,' he responded.

'Okay,' a new voice interrupted, 'I've got the final results from your lymph node biopsy here. As you know the initial results showed evidence of spread and we removed all the nodes during surgery.' Kate and Mike responded in the affirmative, they knew that much. 'The final results I have here show that the spread is much more extensive than we thought. The nodes that I removed were sent to the lab as well to see if the disease had spread beyond what we originally thought. Unfortunately, this is the case.'  
'What do we do now?' Kate asked quietly, struggling to keep her emotions in check.  
'I'm going to send you for more scans this afternoon to see if we can detect any additional cancers in you body then we can devise a treatment regime in terms of dosage and duration, and we'll look to start that in the next couple of weeks when you're stronger. Any questions?' Kate shook her head. Mike, on the other end of the line, was silent. 'I know this isn't the news you were expecting and while it does make the treatment harder, it's not impossible.' Kate nodded,  
'Thank you,' she told the woman who politely excused herself to see other patients.

Alone in his cabin on the other end of the phone line, Mike was struggling to find the words to express what he was thinking. 'Kate?' he asked, finding his voice.  
'I'm here,' she responded, her voice steady.  
'Kate, I want to be there, you shouldn't have to do this alone.'  
'No,' she told him, 'Mike I'll be fine, I'm just going to be resting the next couple of weeks anyway, I know you want to be here, but I'm fine.'  
'You know I don't believe that for a second. You, Kate McGregor, are too stubborn for your own good.'  
'I meant what I said Mike, if you come back early with the express purpose of seeing me, I won't see you.'  
'Kate, I love you and I want to be there with you, what's so bad about that?'  
'Nothing, but I can handle this part. I don't want you to piss off the Brass so that when I do need you here in a couple of weeks time they won't send you off to God knows where and then I'll be alone. I love you Mike, and I'm not doing this to be cruel.' A knock at the door interrupted their conversation,  
'Sir, you're needed on the Bridge,' Bird said, popping her head into the cabin before leaving as quickly as she'd appeared.

'Kate I have to go,' he said regretfully.  
'That's ok, I'll talk to you later, oh, and Mike? Can you tell the crew?'  
'Sure. Love you Kate.'  
'Love you too.' Hanging up the phone, Mike took a deep breath and stood, making his way up to the Bridge.

* * *

Two hours later, after escorting an FFV back over the line, Mike finally had the opportunity to update the Crew on Kate's condition. 'Do you hear there Captain speaking, all crew muster on the boat deck.' Hanging up the mouthpiece, he ordered Davies to stay on the Bridge with the other newly arrived crew member.

By the time Mike arrived on the deck, radio in hand, everyone was assembled, most looking very confused. 'Sir, what's happening?' Dutchy asked.  
'I spoke to Lieutenant McGregor this morning, and was speaking with her when the final pathology results came through. Unfortunately they indicate that the cancer has spread beyond her breast and the lymph nodes. At this point they can't be certain of the extent of the spread, but they are doing scans later this afternoon to see if they can detect it's location.' Mike was met with deathly silence.

'How is she?' Swain asked, the first to find his voice.  
'As well as can be expected. They're planning to begin Chemo in a couple of weeks when she's recovered more from the surgery.'  
'Is there anything we can do?' Bird questioned, a sick feeling sitting in the pit of her stomach as she realised just how serious the situation was. Mike shook his head,  
'There's nothing we can do at this point, except wait and hope.'  
'And pray,' Bird supplied, remembering her catholic school education. Mike nodded, he was by no means religious, but he was beginning to think that now might be a good time to start bargaining with this God.

Gesturing for everyone to return to work, Mike made his way back to the Bridge to be met by his stormy faced XO. 'Sir, may I enquire as to the purpose of this meeting, you excluded myself and Arthur, why?' His tone was harsh, the anger he was feeling evident. Irritated at the way his subordinate was speaking to him, Mike directed him to the privacy of his cabin, handing the ship over to Dutchy's capable hands.

Once the door was shut securely, Mike turned, 'I do not appreciate the accusation that I am attempting to conceal information Lieutenant. What was conveyed in this meeting is of no consequence to you.' He stood face to face with the younger man, his posture threatening as he put his aloof Lieutenant back in his place. Unfazed by the terrified look on the other mans face, Mike continued, letting all his anger and frustration at Kate's illness spill out.

When Mike was finished the other man ran from the room in a state of shock. Swain, who'd been passing by had overheard Mike's outburst and once he'd seen Davies flee, took the opportunity to knock on Mike's door.

A gruff, 'What?' greeted him and the door flung open, revealing a dejected looking Mike leaning against his desk.  
'Boss?' Swain asked, closing the door as he entered the space. Wiping at the stray tears that had escaped their ducts, Mike stood up a little straighter, still trying to impart a sense of authority. 'What is it Swain?' he asked.  
'How are you? I mean everyone is worried about Kate, but no one's asked how you are.'  
'I'm fine,' Mike responded, borrowing Kate's new signature catch phrase.  
'No you're not Sir,' Swain said bluntly, silently hoping he wouldn't set his Boss off again.

Mike looked up at the other man, seeing the concern etched on his face. Sighing, he responded, 'You're right, I'm not. But Kate has made it very clear that unless we are called back in by the Brass, she won't speak to me. At least if I'm out here, I can speak to her, even if it's only sporadically.'  
'Surely given this latest news, she'll change her mind.' Mike shook his head, replaying his earlier conversation with Kate in his head,  
'She's adamant that she can handle this bit alone, she'd prefer I was there for the Chemo, and I need to respect her wishes, even if I don't agree with it.'  
'Is there anything we can do for you?'  
'Just keep Davies away from me, do that and I'll be fine. And if Kate calls, anytime, day or night, get me. I want that known to all the Crew.'  
'Consider it done.' Mike mumbled a quiet thanks, watching as Swain left, continuing his trip back up to the Bridge.

_*runs and hides*_


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for all the feedback so far. I thought I'd posted this, but kinda forgot. Merry belated Christmas and Happy early New Year!**

**Thanks to Sierra Mike and Bebe for the beta.**

**Chapter 15**

Two weeks later, a much stronger Kate was standing on the Dock waiting for the Hammersley to arrive. Dressed in a comfortable pair of denim shorts and a loose fitting t-shirt, Kate had been released from the hospital ten days earlier and had spent that time at home, catching up on trashy daytime television and biding time until her Chemo started in eight days time. Watching as the Hammersley docked, she stood in the humid heat, waiting somewhat impatiently as the ship was closed down and some of the Junior Sailors began to make their way up the gangplank and onto shore. Bird was the first to spot her former XO, rushing over to carefully embrace the older woman. Smiling as she accepted the young woman's greeting, Kate was soon surrounded by the rest of the crew as they slowly came ashore. 'Ma'am,' Dutchy greeted, 'How are you feeling?'

'Good,' Kate replied, nodding, 'Today's a good day. You guys heading to the pub?'

'Sure are. Would you like to join us?'

'I'll see you guys up there in a little while.'

'Ok,' Dutchy nodded, turning to follow the crew as they made their way towards their regular watering hole.

Ten minutes later Kate spotted a familiar figure striding up the gangplank. Dressed in his Whites and carrying a small stack of folders, Mike was followed by his new Lieutenant. Noticing the woman waiting for him on the Dock, he stopped before her, a broad smile spreading across his handsome face, 'Hey beautiful,' he said, lowering his lips to hers for their first kiss in over two weeks. Their embrace was brief, the clearing of Davies throat interrupted them and they reluctantly separated. 'Hi,' Kate said, running her hand down the side of his face, unable to believe that he was finally in front of her again. 'I have to go up to NavCom, do you want me to come to your place when I'm done?'

'Actually, I'm heading up to meet the crew at the pub.'

'I'll see you there when I'm done.' Giving her another quick kiss, he turned and headed towards NavCom, Lieutenant Davies following closely behind.

By the time Kate arrived at the pub fifteen minutes later everyone was well onto their second drinks, and rows of empty shot glasses were sitting on the table in front of them. 'Ma'am,' Charge greeted.

'Please guys, Kate's fine,' she said, taking a seat next to Dutchy. Taking a sip from her water, Kate quickly settled into an animated conversation with her former crew, their light-hearted banter providing a perfect escape from her illness. Not long after Kate sat down, 2Dads jumped up, rushing towards an approaching figure. Throwing his arms around the newly arrived woman, he hurriedly pressed his lips to hers, the three week separation having taken its toll on the young couple. Shaking her head at the pair, currently oblivious to the world around them, Kate turned her focus back to the conversation that was playing out before her. Eventually, Bec and 2Dads returned to the group, his arm draped loosely over her shoulder as they claimed a place on the couch. 'Hey Kate,' Bec said, 'Are you home tomorrow? I've got some more food to drop round for you.'

'Not sure, but if you give me a call before you come round, I'll let you know where I am.' Bec nodded, leaning her body back against 2Dads' relishing in the contact that she had missed for the past three weeks. At the confused looks of the men around them, Kate offered an explanation, 'Bec's been feeding me, she cooks food for me and drops it round so I don't have to cook.'

'Really?' 2Dads asked his girlfriend who had reached forward to snag his drink quickly draining the rest of the glass.

'Yeah, Kate's got enough to think about without having to worry about cooking. I'm getting a drink, anyone else want one?' Her question was met with a series of cheers from the people surrounding her. Making her way over to the bar, she was followed by Kate, the pair waiting together while their hefty order was filled. 'How was the trashy TV today?' Bec asked.

'It's Sunday,' Kate said, shaking her head, 'there's nothing on. I think I'm going to take Mike DVD shopping, my collection is non-existent, and I foresee many months in front of the television in my future.'

'I can lend you some if you like. I've been collecting them since I left. Passes the time when I'm alone.'

'I understand what you mean. I really miss being out there. More than I thought I ever would.' The girls were still deep in conversation when an arm was slipped around Kate's waist, startling her. A kiss was pressed to the top of her head, and she shifted in his grip, turning to capture his lips with her own. Her mouth opened beneath his, deepening the kiss as they let over two weeks of emotion pour out. Kate's arms wound their way up his body, her fingers finding their way into his hair, playing with the short strands while their tongues duelled feverishly. Eventually pulling apart to catch their breath, Mike dropped a kiss to her forehead, pulling her body as close to his as he dared. Ordering himself a beer, Mike took a sip from the malted beverage before the couple made their way over to the stunned crew. Reclaiming her seat next to Dutchy, Kate leaned against Mike's broad chest, a silly grin spreading across her face as he grazed his lips across her cheek, whispering a quiet comment in her ear, causing her to erupt into laughter, slapping his chest lightly. 'Yes, Kate and I are in a relationship,' Mike announced to the dumbfounded crew who were watching the pair with some interest. A chorus of "Congratulations" sounded through the small group and glasses were raised in a toast to the happy couple.

An hour later an exhausted Kate was helped back into her Townhouse by Mike. Her busy afternoon in the company of her former crew had taken its toll on her still weak body. Gently helping her settle on the couch, Mike rushed out to grab his bag from the path, locking the front door behind him. When he re-entered the living room only moments later Kate has swung her legs up onto the cushions, the air-conditioning remote clutched in her hand. 'Kate? You ok?' he asked, slightly concerned.

'Just tired. I think today was just a bit overwhelming. I haven't done a lot for nearly three weeks.'

'It's to be expected, you're supposed to be resting.'

'I don't think I've "rested" in my life and I wasn't planning to start anytime soon.' Mike laughed,

'I think I'll have to teach you how. I have a feeling we'll both be getting a lot of practise in the near future.'

'Both?' Kate asked, intrigued.

'Maxine approved my leave. I'll be right here with you through this, I'm not going anywhere.' Shifting her body carefully to allow Mike some space on the couch, he sat down, leaning his body against the arm of the couch. Once he was settled, Kate leaned back against him, his arms automatically winding around her body, holding her firmly against him. His lips grazed against her neck lightly, once, twice, enticing her head to turn towards his. Their lips met lightly, their earlier passion reigniting as they allowed themselves to get caught up in the moment. Lost in a haze of lust, Mike's hands began to wander, running his hands up the plains of her back, slipping under the fabric of her t-shirt, caressing her soft skin. Pulling his lips away from hers, he dragged them down her neck, nipping gently as they travelled down the area. A soft moan enemated from her throat, the vibration causing a moan of his own to tumble from his lips. Caught up in his teasing, Kate's hands began to travel down his body, finding the hem of his shirt, her fingers sneaking under cotton. The fingers of her left hand travelled up his chest, while her right hand reached up to force his lips back to hers. Their tongues twined together, duelling as they both fought for dominance, Kate eventually relented any idea of control and gave herself over to his mercy. Laying her slim form across his broad one, she could feel his arousal pressed against her body and she pulled away shocked. Breathing heavily, she reached around to pull his hands off her body, rushing from the room, tears stinging her eyes. Stunned at her rejection, Mike took a second to catch his breath before chasing after her. 'Kate?' he asked quietly, following the sobbing sounds coming from the direction of the bathroom. Opening door gently, he found her leaning up against the bath, trying to stop her tears. 'How can you be attracted to me when I look…like this?' she gestured to her chest, 'They're hideous, I'm hideous.' Reaching over, he lifted her face back up, 'Kaitlin McGregor, you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. That's never going to change. I love you. That's not going to change, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.'

'I don't see it,' she whispered, 'If you saw what they did…you'd never want to touch me again.'

'That's not true,' he responded, his voice barely above a whisper.

'Mike…' she paused, not sure how to frame what she wanted to tell him.

'Kate…'

'I know you're attracted to me, that much was obvious, but I can't…the idea of sex right now…it repulses me. You say I'm beautiful, that you'll love me no matter what. But Mike, what if I never get to the point where I want to do that again. Can you live with that?' He was quiet for a moment as he let the gravity of what she had said settle in his mind.

'It's not important…Kate I want to be with you, and if that means we're never intimate, I can live with that. I just want to be with you.' Throwing her arms around his neck, she pulled his body to hers, burying her head in his neck. Eventually they climbed up from their position on the floor, Mike leading Kate into the bedroom, the pair of them climbing into bed, their bodies comfortably fitting together as they let the exhaustion of the day overtake them.


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks for all the feedback so far.

Cheers to Cami, Bebe and Sierra Mike for looking over this for me

_For Whitleo_

  
**Chapter 16**  
The sun peeked in through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the sleeping couple. A soft buzzing noise next to Mike's head dragged him from his peaceful dreams. Shaking the still sleeping woman lightly, she mumbled something, sighed and shifted her body closer to his.

Pressing the button on his phone to shut it up, he ran his fingers through her hair, kissing the top of her head, 'Kate, time to wake up.' Leaning his head down, he whispered a quiet 'Good morning,' into her ear, before dragging his lips across her cheek, eventually pressing them against hers.

Kate's eyes flew open momentarily before closing again as she deepened the kiss. Separating reluctantly, she looked into his eyes, a smile spreading across her face as she admired the man next to her, 'Hi.'  
'Hi,' he replied, running his hand down her face, and kissing her forehead lovingly.  
'I don't want to get up. I'd rather stay here all day.'  
'I know, but we have to get ready. We have to be at the hospital in an hour.' Kate nodded against his chest, his arms tightening around her body.

'Too tight,' she said, feeling her chest crush against his, a sharp pain shooting through her body. He let go quickly, apologising and offering to kiss it better. Shaking her head, she denied his request, still too horrified at the mutation to her body to allow Mike to see her in anything less than a t-shirt and shorts. Reluctantly, Kate shifted from her position across Mike's chest, swinging her feet out onto the floor and shuffling slowly towards the bathroom.

Watching her retreating form, Mike too rolled out of bed, heading towards the kitchen, searching for something to cook for breakfast.

* * *

Forty minutes later Mike and Kate walked though the sliding doors of the hospital. Kate's empty stomach growled as they followed the signs to the Oncology ward. 'Kate, you should've eaten something.' She shook her head.  
'I don't think I could, it'd come straight back up.'  
'Nerves?' he asked.  
'Yeah,' she responded quietly, leaning closer to his body and gripping his hand tightly as she dared. Together they approached the admissions desk and Kate was checked into a room for her chemo.

Settling in the uncomfortable bed, Kate leaned against the pillows, allowing the accompanying nurse to prepare her for her first dose of the drugs that would hopefully spare her life. Her left arm occupied with the newly inserted IV line, Mike took up residence on her right side, his thumb running over the back of her hand.

A few minutes later Doctor Marsh came into the room, carrying non-descript bags of fluids, which she placed on the table next to Kate's bed. 'How are you feeling today Kate?' she asked.  
'Nervous.'  
'That's to be expected. What about you Mike? How are you?'  
'Not too bad thanks.' Dr. Marsh nodded,  
'So, today we're going to give you your first dose of chemo, I'll just get everything hooked up and running and then I'll come back later to check on you.' Kate nodded while the other woman launched into a spiel about the drugs she was administering to Kate and the potential side effects. Once the bags were attached the machine was set and the fluids started dripping slowly into the IV line attached to Kate's left arm.

Satisfied that everything was set correctly, Doctor Marsh quietly exited the room, leaving the couple alone together. 'I'm glad you're here,' Kate whispered.  
'I wouldn't miss it, and I'm not going anywhere.'  
'Even when I'm throwing up all day?'  
'Even then.'  
'And when my hair falls out?'  
'I'll still be there. And when you beat this, I'll be there. I'm not going anywhere Kate. Can you trust that I'm not going anywhere, no matter what?'  
'I do…its just, I can't help but think that you're only hanging around because I'm sick.'  
'Kate, you know that's not true.'  
'I do, but deep down it feels like you're only here because you think I'm not going to survive this, and once I'm gone you'll be off the hook.'

She reached up to wipe the tears that had formed in her eyes as she spoke. Mike shook his head vigorously,  
'Kate, how can I make you believe that I'm in this a hundred percent. That I'm not going to leave when you recover. I can say it a thousand different ways but it won't mean anything if you don't believe me. I love you Kate McGregor, I've loved you since we first met, it's just taken me this long to realise that my life is meaningless if you're not here with me.'

He reached over, punctuating his spiel with a soft kiss on her lips. His tongue gently pried her lips open, tangling it with hers as he tried to pour all his love into the simple gesture. Pulling apart when oxygen became an issue, breathing heavily, Kate spoke, 'If you do that often enough, I might just believe you,' she told him, a cheeky grin on her face.

When Doctor Marsh returned the bags were empty and Kate had fallen asleep, the day having already taken its toll on her. Still seated next to her, his large hand clutching her smaller one, the man who'd previously been so confident about the situation, looked positively terrified. 'Mike?' the woman questioned, watching him carefully for a few moments, 'Everything ok?' He shook his head, not daring to speak for fear that Kate would overhear.

Gesturing for him to follow her out the door, Mike gently placed Kate's hand back on the bed. Taking a seat on the bench along the opposite wall, the woman waited for Mike to speak.

'I don't know how I'm going to do this. I promised her I won't leave, but honestly, I'm not sure I can bear to see her in pain. I know it's only the first treatment, and the side effects could take a while to appear…it's just...Kate is such a strong, independent woman, and for her to ask for help, must be…God, I can't imagine what she's going through right now.  
'It makes me so angry. That she has to go through this. She's had enough crap in her life, and this just takes the cake really. I know how much she wants to have kids, and the thought that maybe she won't get that opportunity…I love her, and I don't think I'll survive if she doesn't.' He fought back tears as he finished speaking, having finally aired his grievances.

'You know Kate had some eggs frozen, she could still get her wish, there is a chance you could still have children. I'll be honest with you Mike, Kate's cancer is more advanced than we would like, and despite the spread, we've caught it before it's gotten into her bones. Her age, and her previous good health mean she has a good chance of going into remission. I wish I could give you a guarantee that she is going to beat this, but I can't.

'I can however, guarantee that we are going to do everything that we possibly can to give her the best chance, and the rest will be up to her. Now as for you, I'll grab some numbers of support groups for family and friends of people suffering from cancer, perhaps you could share them with your crew as well.'  
'Thank you,' Mike said, 'I should go back in.'  
'She'll probably sleep for a while. Go grab a coffee and I'll wait here on the off chance she wakes up.'  
'Thank you. For everything,' he reiterated, standing and heading off to the cafeteria.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Wow! Don't look now, but I'm actually posting here the same day as the forums! Go me! Thanks for all the feedback so far.**

**Cheers to Cami, Sierra Mike and Bebe for the beta **

**Chapter 17**

'I don't get what the big deal is. I'm fine!' Kate yelled, exiting the room and rushing up the hall, slamming the bedroom door in Mike's face as he attempted to follow her.

'Kate?' he said to the closed door, his voice much quieter than previous, 'Kate?' she didn't respond. Tapping lightly on the wood in front of him, he slowly turned the handle, letting the door fall open, spurred on by a gentle push. Peering into the room, he spotted Kate angrily pacing, no doubt making herself dizzy as she went from one end of the room to the other, spinning her body forcefully round when she reached a wall. He couldn't articulate what she was muttering under her breath, but he had no doubt that it was something to do with him. Stepping in her path, he put his arms up to steady her body as it came to a sudden stop. When she reluctantly lifted her head to meet his gaze, he could see the anger still plastered so obviously across her face. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered, 'I just don't understand why.'

'I can't sit here everyday with nothing to do. I'm not built that way Mike. Every time I'm alone, all I can think is, what else is there I need to do before I die? I can't sit here everyday and do nothing. I need some distraction, and I spoke to Dr. Marsh. She's fine with it, so long as I take it easy.'

'I understand that, I do. All I'm saying is that you've only had one round of chemo. I know you feel okay now, but what happens if you start to feel sick?'

'I don't know. Mike I need this. For my sanity.' She looked at him with sad eyes, daring him to challenge her. Sighing dramatically, Mike whispered a quiet agreement. 'Thank you,' she said, reaching up to briefly press her lips against his. Pulling away, she wrapped her arms around his body, holding onto him for dear life, her head resting against his chest, listening to his heart thud softly against his chest.

Nikki rubbed her forehead, trying in vain to remove the beads of sweat that seemed to have taken up permanent residence since they sailed north almost five weeks ago. Stripping down to her t-shirt, she took a seat in front of her laptop, switching it on. Downing a glass of cold water enthusiastically, she leaned back, enjoying her first break in over thirty-six hours. Connecting to the internet, she opened her email, sifting through the masses of mail that had accumulated since she'd last had an opportunity to check. Reading through a long winded email from her mother, she typed out a response, and hit send. Deleting all the unnecessary junk that had come from Facebook and the like, Nikki found an email from Mike, dated three days ago. Before she had a chance to open it up, a message popped up from Skype on her toolbar, "Kate McGregor is online." Changing windows, she opened up Skype and checked to see her webcam was switched on. Clicking the call button, Nikki waited for it to connect. Connection established, an image of Kate popped up on screen. The blonde woman was sitting on her couch, a white wall behind her.

'Hey Nik,' Kate said, surprised to see her friend.

'Kate! How are you feeling?'

'Tired, but otherwise not too bad. You?'

'Exhausted, I've never been this tired in my life.' Kate laughed, remembering the exhaustion of active service on a Frigate all too well.

'I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I'd be lying.'

'Thanks anyway. How's Mike?'

'On leave. He's gone over to his place to collect some things.'

'So he's staying then?'

'That's what he keeps telling me. Not sure if I believe him.'

'Despite all the evidence to contrary?'

'Yeah, I just find it hard to believe that he won't leave when I get better.'

'Wait! Is that a positive thought? Geez Kate, I didn't think that you were capable,' Nikki said, shaking her head.

'I have been known to, on occasion.'

'But not lately.'

'No, not lately.'

'When do you have chemo?'

'Had the first cycle last week, only eight to go.' There was a chime in the background,

'Lieutenant Caetano, to the Bridge at the rush.' Nikki jumped up,

'Sorry Kate, I've gotta go. I'll email you later.' Kate having heard the announcement in the background, nodded, disconnecting the call. Quickly switching her computer off, Nikki grabbed her jacket and ran out the door, making her way back onto the Bridge she had vacated less than an hour earlier.

Kate was still sitting on the computer when Mike came back, a bag slung casually over his shoulder. Dropping it to the floor, he took a seat on the couch next to Kate, pressing a kiss to her temple. 'I just spoke with Nikki.'

'How is she?' he asked, curious as to how his former Navigator was handling life aboard a big ship.

'She looks exhausted, but otherwise seems ok. Didn't get much of chance to talk, she got called back to the Bridge.' Mike nodded. 'I miss her,' Kate admitted, leaning back against the cushions. Mike shifted closer to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. 'It's a nice day, we should go for a walk. Might help clear your head a little.'

'Sounds nice,' Kate responded, burrowing further into his body.

An hour later the couple had mustered up the energy necessary to move from the couch. Taking her hand in his, Mike steered them towards the boardwalk. The usually popular tourist spot was virtually deserted and the pair slowly made their way along the waterfront. The water lapped at the shore, soaking the mud that lined the waters edge. The humid heat hung in the air as they walked, and Kate rubbed at her chest uncomfortably. 'You alright?' Mike asked, noticing Kate's distraction.

'A bit itchy, but I'll be right.' Spotting the café next to Muddy's playground, Mike gestured to it,

'Wanna grab an ice cream?'

'Sounds good,' Kate responded, allowing Mike to lead her over to the door of the small café. The air conditioner was turned up to full in an attempt to keep the few customers that had braved the heat to venture out of their houses. Stopping in front of the ice-cream freezer they considered their options, eventually selecting something and giving their orders to the bubbly young girl behind the counter.

Ice creams in hand, they chose a table in striking distance of the air conditioner, eating their treats in companionable silence. 'This is nice,' Kate said, jabbing her spoon back into the mound of ice cream sitting in her cup.

'The views not too bad either,' Mike responded, looking his female companion squarely in the eye.

'Suck,' she replied, leaning over to give him a quick kiss.

'Can't help it. I shouldn't have dragged my feet about it for so long. I love you Kate McGregor.'

'I love you too.'

Ice creams finished, the pair stood up, dropping their rubbish into the bin and heading back out into the humid heat.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Routines. Kate hated them. Yet her life had frustratingly dissolved into one. For two weeks of the month, her life revolved around her cancer and the treatment that would hopefully kill it, allowing her the opportunity to live a long and full life. The only respite she got from this dull routine was the two days a month she worked at NavCom. The days, strategically placed two weeks after her chemo gave her an opportunity to immerse herself in work before the treatment cycle began again. Apart from occasional bouts of nausea, and the undeniable exhaustion, Kate had yet to experience any of the other side effects that were traditionally associated with chemotherapy. In the lead up to her third round of treatment, Kate was packing the small bag that accompanied her to the hospital, loading it up with comfortable sleepwear and a light pair of yoga pants that Mike had bought for her during her first week of treatment. Zipping the bag closed, she tossed it onto the bed, dropping her body down on the soft sheets. Stifling a yawn, she shifted her body up to rest her head on the pillow, her eyes slipping shut as she let exhaustion take over.

Pushing the front door shut behind him, Mike deposited his car keys on the kitchen counter, followed by his laptop and briefcase. Given Kate's current reasonable health, he too had returned to work part time, hoping to accrue more leave in case her health deteriorated suddenly. Currently he worked two and a half weeks of the month, taking time off when Kate had treatment, despite her protests that he could be doing something more productive with his time while she lay hooked up to an IV, pumping drugs into her body. Looking around, his eyes scanned the room for any sign of Kate, he knew she'd been to the hospital earlier in the day for the final tests before her next round of chemo, but he was certain she should've been home by now. Ignoring the deafening silence of the townhouse, he made his way up to the bedroom he shared with Kate. The sight that greeted him bought a smile to his face. There on the bed, curled up with an old teddy bear, was Kate. The bear, he recognised as the one, which until recently, had always lived in Kate's wardrobe, had been given to her by her father as a child, and remained as one of the only reminders she had of her life in England. Now, the teddy, who looked as though he'd seen better days, accompanied her to hospital when she went for treatment, and spent the rest of the month perched in the centre of the bed, moving to the bedside table when the two adults retired for the night. Spotting her old sea bag on one corner of the bed, he figured that she'd been packing for her next trip to hospital in three days time and that the mundane task, coupled with her busy day, had exhausted her fragile body. Physically, she still looked fine, although she had taken to wearing shapeless shirts to hide her "disfigurement." Her breasts were healing well, though still self conscious following the operation, Mike had yet to see them, something which, if he was honest, was starting to annoy him just a fraction. No matter how much he tried to convince her, through more than one of their infamous throat-ripping debates, she still refused to let him see her naked, refused to let him touch her in any way that she deemed to be too intimate. Dropping his body to the bed beside her, Mike gently ran his fingers through her still lush locks. The gesture caused Kate to stir slightly, mumbling something undistinguishable before sighing and rolling over to lie on her stomach. Mike grimaced, mentally counting the seconds until she woke up. He wasn't disappointed. Minutes later, she shot up. She had yet to get used to the feel of her new breasts, and as such, anytime she slept on her stomach, the unfamiliar sensation caused her to wake up, every time. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she looked over, spotting Mike sitting on the edge of the bed, a goofy grin adorning his handsome face, 'Hey,' she whispered.

'Hi,' he responded, reaching over to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. 'How are you feeling?'

'Not too bad, I think that nap helped. I needed it today.'

'What did Dr. Marsh say?'

'Good to go for Monday, usual time.' He nodded,

'The crew are coming over tomorrow, are you up for that?'

'Absolutely, I need the distraction. What time?'

'They're due back in this afternoon, I think I told them four, so you could have a sleep before they arrived.'

'Sounds good,' Kate said, unsuccessfully stifling a yawn, 'Do we need to get anything at the shop?'

'I was just going to get changed and head up to Central if you wanted to come with me.'

'Sure, some sort of fresh air will be nice.' Mike got up off the bed, and went over to the drawers that now housed his clothes, rifling through to find something to keep him relatively cool in the undeniable humidity of the day. Kate watched as he carefully striped off his Whites and carefully hung them next to hers in the wardrobe, re-dressing in knee length navy shorts and a light Hawaiian shirt. Knowing she wouldn't change with him in the room, Mike headed back out to the kitchen to wait for her to ready herself.

The shopping centre was surprisingly packed when they arrived. Both had become accustomed to the lack of people around when they were out, with the humidity as bad as it was at this time of year, only the bravest of locals dared to venture out too often. The two Navy Officers however, were more accustomed to the conditions, having spent many years working under the glaring Northern sun. Seeing the massive lines at the checkouts in their desired destination, Mike steered Kate in the direction of the small café that was located outside the supermarket. Grabbing a free table, Kate left Mike to order the drinks, resting her arms on the wooden surface, her head falling involuntarily to rest on them. 'You ok?' Mike asked, approaching the table.

'Just tired, maybe shopping wasn't such a good idea.'

'Do you want me to take you home?' She shook her head,

'No we're here now, I'll be right.'

'If you're sure,' he said, concern evident in his tone.

'It's ok. I'll have an early night and I'll be fine, I've just got a lot on my mind.'

'Chemo?'

'Amongst other things.'

'If you need to talk…'

'Not here, not with all these people around.' A young waitress interrupted, carefully unloading her tray onto the table before leaving the couple to their conversation. Kate sipped at the tall glass of fresh orange juice that was placed in front of her, watching Mike as he upended packets of sugar into his coffee cup, stirring the black liquid thoroughly before attempting to take a sip. 'How was work?' Kate asked, listening intently as Mike launched into an explanation of his day. The pair were so engrossed in their conversation that they failed to notice the approaching woman, 'Kate? Sir?' the voice said. Mike shook his head, 'Bec, I've told you call me Mike, you're not in the Navy anymore, no need for formalities.'

'Ok…Mike,' she said, hesitantly calling him by his given name, 'You guys shopping for tomorrow?'

'Yeah,' Kate responded, 'Are you coming?'

'I'll be a little late, but I'm on lunch, so hopefully will be gone before the dinner crew get in. Do you want me to bring anything?'

Mike shook his head, 'Only alcohol, we're providing food, so just whatever you plan to drink.'

'Sounds good. Listen, I have to run, have to be back at work soon, but I'll see you guys tomorrow.' Giving them both a wave, Bec ran off in the direction of the supermarket, grabbing a trolley and rushing into the store.

Two hours after they had left, Mike and Kate made it back to her townhouse, laden with groceries. Giving Kate the lightest of the bags, Mike struggled to carry the rest up the front steps. Shaking her head as she watched him struggle, she made an attempt to take some bags from him. With a wobbly smile, he replied, 'No, I'm fine.' Lifting an eyebrow curiously, she observed his now purple fingers, 'Bullshit,' she challenged. Finally making it into the kitchen, he placed the bags on the floor, leaving them on the tile while he shook his hands in an attempt to get some feeling back into his numb digits. Hearing the shrill laugh of his girlfriend, he moved over to her, pulling her towards him, crushing his lips against hers. Parting her lips beneath his, she deepened the contact, her hands travelling up his back, pulling him closer, relishing in their closeness. Pulling away to take a breath, Mike's lips travelled to her ear, 'I love you Kate McGregor,' he whispered, his hot breath tickling her skin. Letting out a soft moan, she pulled his lips back around to meet hers, their tongues tangling together, any thoughts about unpacking the groceries forgotten as he lifted her onto the kitchen bench, her legs wrapping around his waist, pulling his body flush against hers. A loud knock on the front door distracted the couple, Kate tearing her lips from his, before dispatching Mike to answer the door while she attempted to re-plait her hair, which had mysteriously come undone in the fray. Hopping off the bench, Kate set about unpacking the groceries, watching the doorway curiously while she waited to see who had disturbed her from the intimate moments she was sharing with her boyfriend. Eventually, Mike came back into the kitchen, dropping some pamphlets on the table, 'Jehovah's Witnesses,' he said noting her curious stare, 'Now where were we?' he asked, collecting her smaller body in his arms, ignoring her protests as he carried her over to the couch, intent on continuing their earlier activities.

'Kate…Kate…' he whispered softly, running his hand down the side of her face. She moaned softly, her eyes fluttering open.

'Hi,' she whispered, reaching up to wipe the sleep from her eyes. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead,

'Did you have a good sleep?'

'Not too bad. What's the time?'

'Almost four, crew should be here soon.' Pushing herself into an upright position, Kate wrapped her arms around his body, giving him a light kiss. Getting up off the bed, she stretched out her lithe body, the singlet she was wearing sliding up revealing a line of her creamy skin. Mike reached out, putting his hands on her hips, his thumbs massaging the area gently. She let out a loud moan, throwing her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, her lips fusing to his. Their tongues tangled together, the kiss deepening as they lost themselves in the moment. Separating reluctantly, Kate leaned her forehead against his, 'I should get changed, before everyone arrives.' Giving him another quick peck, she moved towards the bathroom, grabbing some clean clothes and shutting the door firmly behind her.

'Oh my God, Buff!' Kate yelled, throwing her arms around the sailor as he stepped out onto the verandah. 'How are you Ma'am?' he asked, accepting her affectionate greeting.

Shaking her head as she moved back, 'Kate, I'm not your superior anymore.'

'How have you been?'

'Not too bad, treatment week is a little rough, but we're getting there.'

'If either of you need anything,' he said, gesturing to Mike who was standing on the lawn, deep in conversation with Dutchy. 'Thanks Buff.' Continuing their conversation as they made their way down onto the lawn, the pair chatted animatedly as they searched for a place on the lawn. Locating an empty chair, Kate sat her weary body on it, opening her water bottle and taking a long sip. 'God I miss alcohol,' Kate said, screwing the lid shut, and dropping the bottle to the grass below. Buffer laughed at his former XO's frustration. He knew the other woman, like the Nav was fond a drink, and he'd figured that since her treatment began, she'd stopped drinking. 'When it's all over, we'll make up for it, I promise.' A smile spread across her face, 'Would you believe me if I told you that was the best offer I've had a in while.'

'What's that?' Mike asked, coming to stand behind her.

'A good drinking session when this is all over.'

'Sounds like a good idea, something to look forward to,' Mike said, dropping a kiss to her forehead, 'I'm going to start cooking.'

'Ok, I'll be over to help soon.'

'No need, Kate, I can handle it. You rest.'

'I've been resting all afternoon, let me help,' she said stubbornly crossing her arms across her chest.

'I'll be fine, you can do the dishes,' he told her, earning himself a jab in the gut.

'You're lucky I love you,' Kate said, pulling him down to give him a quick kiss.

'Love you too,' he mumbled against her lips. A clearing throat distracted them, and Mike stood back up, seeing Swain standing there, an amused grin on his face. 'You ready Boss?' he asked, holding out the trays of meat.

'Sure,' Mike responded, giving Kate's hand a light squeeze and following Swain over to where the barbeque had been set up.

'Hey everyone,' Bec said, dropping her bag onto the floor as she came outside, quickly removing the top from her beer and taking a long sip. 'That's better,' she said to no one in particular as she sought out her wayward boyfriend. Kissing him quickly in greeting, she made her way over to where Kate was dozing in her chair, a plate of food balanced precariously on her knees. 'Kate,' she said softly, waking the blonde from her light sleep,

'Hey Bec,' Kate replied, stretching her stiff muscles, almost losing the plate in the process. Bec's quick reflexes managed to save the food from hitting the ground, and a loud curse emanated from the woman sitting before her. 'You ok Kate?' she asked, her voice full of concern. Kate eyed the crowd of people in her yard before responding, 'Not really,' she admitted.

'Do you want to come inside?' Kate nodded, allowing the brunette to help her to her feet. The two ladies managed to sneak inside without being noticed by the myriad of people in the yard, taking a seat on the couch. Kate folded her legs up underneath her, leaning her tired body against the arm of the sofa. 'Is everything ok?'

'Honestly? No. Mike's been fantastic, more than I could have ever expected…but I don't know…I'm just not sure how to talk to him about what's going through my mind. He's just been so patient with me, coming to Doctor's appointments, and sitting with me through chemo…and I…I guess I don't want him to be burdened with everything that I'm thinking as well.'

'What do you mean?' Bec questioned, slightly confused.

'I mean, what if I don't get better? I'm trying to stay positive, but it's really hard when you spend the better part of a fortnight practically attached to a toilet bowl, or asleep. Even today, I slept just about the whole afternoon before anyone got here and I've spent most of the barbeque dozing in the chair alone.

'I think most people don't know what to say, or how to treat me. But what they don't get is I'm still me, just a sick version of it. I'm still the same inside, and sometimes I think people only talk to me because they feel sorry for me, or they're here because they think they have to be, but I don't want that. If they feel that way then I'd rather they didn't come at all.

'And same with Mike, I only want him here if he truly wants to be, not because he feels obligated.' Kate finished her mini tirade, shaking her head, trying to stop the tears from flowing. Seeing her former XO struggling to keep her composure before her, Bec reached out, taking the older woman in her arms, running her hand up her back, soothing her in the way Bec's own mother had done when she was younger. Eventually, Kate pulled back, wiping at the stray tears that were still falling, 'That feels better,' she said quietly, 'Thanks Bec.'

'Anytime, and if you ever need to talk, day or night, just call me, even if I'm at work, the boss can get stuffed.' The last comment bought a smile to the blonde's face, and the two girls spent the rest of the afternoon curled up on the couch, laughing together as they recounted old stories, until an exhausted Kate fell asleep, a happy smile on her face.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The sun's early morning rays filtered in through the spaces in the blinds, casting their soft light across the sleeping couple. Limbs tangled together, Mike and Kate were lost in a semi peaceful slumber, their chests rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Shifting slightly in his sleep, Mike's eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the soft morning light. Stifling a yawn, he carefully shifted his body out from beneath hers, trying in vain not to wake the woman who was snoring softly. Dropping a gentle kiss to her forehead, he extricated himself from the bed, padding across the floor to the bathroom. The sudden loss of body heat woke Kate, and she rolled over in bed, running her hand across the now empty space, searching for the body that kept her warm at night. 'Mike?' she asked groggily, trying to ascertain his whereabouts.

'I'm here,' he called from the bathroom, stepping out into her line of sight, 'You ok?' he asked, coming back into the bedroom.

'Not too bad.'

'You and Bec have fun last night? You disappeared fairly quickly after she arrived,' Mike commented, sitting down on the bed and reaching over to give her hand a light squeeze.

'Yeah, we had a good talk. Got a few things off my chest.' Mike looked at her confusion etched on his features, filing her comment away in his mind for perusal at a later stage. Kate didn't miss the hurt look on his face as he jumped up off the bed, 'I'll get you some breakfast.'

Mike stood in the kitchen alone, impatiently waiting for the jug to boil, the water in the appliance bubbled steadily until the jug clicked off. Filling the ceramic mug three quarters of the way up with the hot liquid, he let the teabag steep while he collected the toast from the toaster, putting it on a small plate. He dropped some cold water into the mug, pulling the teabag out and dropping it on the saucer next to the sink. Collecting the toast and the tea, he carried them up to the bedroom, balancing the tea and toast in one hand while he tried to turn the door handle. He pushed the door open, finding Kate sitting in the centre of the bed, a clump of her beautiful locks clutched in her hand. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and he stood there stunned, watching as she brushed her hand down the other side of her head, another clump of hair coming with it. Entering the room, he placed the contents of his hands on the bedside table, he climbed onto the bed, taking a distraught Kate in his arms. 'It's ok,' he whispered, kissing her neck softly. He gently shifted her head from its place on his shoulder, so he could look into her beautiful eyes, he used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her eyes. Running a finger tip down her dry skin, he leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips. 'My hair,' she said in a crackly voice, holding her fists up in his eye line.

'Sssh,' he said, trying to soothe his upset girlfriend, 'It's ok Kate, I promise it'll be ok.'

'You don't know that…you don't know that it'll be ok. Don't make promises that you can't keep,' she yelled, pushing him away.

'I'm just trying to stay positive Kate. I can't bear to think of the alternative. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you,' he told her, his voice thick with emotion.

'And you think I can?' she whispered, 'Do you have any idea how hard it is to not have any control over your body? To spend hours sitting in front of the toilet bowl?' Her tone rose with each question, 'To throw up everything that you eat? To be so exhausted that you can't even sit through a conversation with your friend? You have no idea!' Kate stood up, dropping her fallen hair to the mattress and rushing from the room. 'I have no idea because you won't tell me!' he yelled after her. Garnering no response, Mike swore under his breath, picking up the golden strands that Kate had left behind. After taking a few moments to gather his thoughts, Mike left the room, searching for his girlfriend. He found her sitting in the backyard, and he approached her slowly, 'Go away,' she said tearfully, 'I don't need this right now.'

'What then? What do you need? What else can I possibly do for you?' he said, his voice rising with each syllable. She was silent. 'Help me to understand. I can't be there for you if I don't know what's going on in that beautiful head of yours,' his voice was desperate.

'I don't know if I can,' she responded quietly. Anger flared inside him and he stepped back, 'But you're happy to spend hours talking to Bec? Or Nikki? Or Buffer? God Kate, I want to be there for you, but how am I supposed to help you if you don't help me to understand. You can't have it both ways Kate. You can't have me in your bed, and then shut me out emotionally. When you've figured out what you want, you know where to find me.' Turning on his heel, he left the yard, slamming the front door as he left the townhouse, leaving a devastated woman in his wake.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Stunned, Kate watched his retreating form, jumping when the door slammed in the distance. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she rested her head in her hands, massaging her temples in an attempt to alleviate the headache that was slowly forming. As the sun climbed higher in the sky it bore down on the woman, beads of sweat forming on her brow. Eventually, unable to bear the humidity any longer, Kate stood up, her legs almost buckling under her slight weight. Steadily putting one foot in front of the other, Kate made her way over to the steps that lead into her townhouse. A knot formed in her stomach as she commuted the short distance. She made it halfway across the lawn before she keeled over, her throat burning as the bile rose up, the yellowy liquid escaping her body, pooling on the grass in front of her. Coughing hoarsely, she eventually rose to her feet again, stumbling up the stairs and inside, swiftly grabbing the remote for the air conditioner as she shut the sliding door behind her.

The car beeped as Mike remotely unlocked the sedan he drove while on shore. Climbing behind the wheel of the midnight blue car, he shut the door and jammed the key in the ignition, the engine roaring into life at the turn of a key. The air conditioner let out a blast of hot air and he wound the window down in response, while he waited for the system to cool itself down. Throwing the car into reverse and flipping the park brake down, he backed out of the driveway and onto the street, slipping the car into first and taking off up the street. Navigating his way around the streets of Cairns he found his way to Buffer's flat, his insistent knocking pulling the Bosun from his slumber. Opening the door forcefully, Buffer was surprised to find his former CO standing on the doorstep, a look of deep concern on his features. 'Sir?' he asked, slightly confused as to the older man's presence at his door.

'I don't think I can handle this,' Mike said, running his hands through his hair.

'Kate?' the Bosun asked. Mike nodded, following the other man inside. Cracking open a beer for each of them, despite the early hour, the two men took a seat on the plain couch that sat in the centre of the small room. Taking a long swig from his beer, Mike leaned back against the pudgy cushions, trying to assess in his mind where to begin. 'Her hair started falling out today. She was just sitting there, and I had no idea what to do,' he shook his head, hating the feeling of helplessness that was still shrouding him. 'She's just so stubborn and she won't let me in. I can tell she's holding back. I don't know what to do anymore,' he finished miserably. Buff sat there, listening to Mike as his thoughts spilled out, watching the other man struggling to keep his composure. Buff had always suspected that there was something between Mike and Kate and his suspicions had been confirmed yesterday when he'd seen the pair interacting at her place yesterday.

'Maybe she needs some space. There's a lot going on in her mind at the moment.'

'And I appreciate that, but I want to help, and I can't do that if I don't know what the problem is.'

'I understand completely, Mum was the same, she didn't want to burden me with what she was thinking.'

'I wish she would. I love her. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her, she means everything to me.'

Buffer watched him for a moment.

'I can see that, I saw the way you were looking at her yesterday, she's incredibly lucky to have that kind of love. Having someone who loves her will make all the difference.'

'What if love isn't enough?'

'It isn't always, but if you walk out on her now, she'll never let you near her again.'

'She can talk to everyone else, why not me? I know she spends hours talking to Nikki and Bec, even you, why not me?'

'Maybe you're too close,' Buffer paused, 'I can't tell you exactly what's going on in her mind, she hasn't confided in me, but maybe she's still hesitant that perhaps you won't be there when this is all over.'

'How many times do I have to tell her that I'm not going anywhere? I can say it a million different ways until I'm blue in the face, but if she's not going to believe me, what's the point?' Mike asked defeated.

'That's what I mean, she's got so much in her head right now, and worrying about your relationship is one extra worry that she doesn't need. I can see where she's coming from though, you guys weren't together until after she was diagnosed, right?'

'Right,' Mike confirmed.

'So I think there's a part of her that thinks, rightly or wrongly, that you're only with her because of her illness.'

'She's expressed that to me, multiple times. The feelings I have for her have always been there. So what can I do to show her that this is for real? That I'm not going anywhere?'

There was a period of silence between the two men as Buffer pondered Mike's last question. Finishing his stubbie of beer, Buff rose, disappearing into the kitchen, returning moments later with two icy stubbies. 'You mentioned her hair was falling out?' he asked, interrupting the silence.

'Yeah, she noticed it coming out this morning.'

'I think there's something you could do…'

The shrill ring of the phone sounded throughout the townhouse. Weakly, Kate lifted her head off the couch, unable to muster the energy to shift from her current position. A small puddle of bile was sitting on the floor next to the couch. The heat of the day had seeped into the house, despite the air conditioning running full blast, and now the stale air was having an adverse affect on Kate's weakened immune system. The answering machine clicked on and her own voice greeted her, _"Hi, you've reached Kate McGregor, I'm not home right now, so leave a message after the beep."_

'Hey Kate, its Nikki, just calling to say hi, I guess you're out, so I'll try another time.'

'Nikki…' she rasped at the machine, falling off the couch with a loud thud, somehow managing to drag her body to collect the cordless from its home, speaking into it weakly, 'Nikki…'

'Kate?' she asked, her voice full of concern. When she didn't get a response, she spoke again, 'Kate?' she could hear the woman coughing on the other end of the line.

'Sick…' Kate responded. A fog had descended on her head, leaving her feeling dizzy, and barely able to comprehend what was happening. 'Kate? Where's Mike?' Nikki asked, trying not to panic.

'Gone…' came the weak reply.

'Kate, I'll call Bec, hold on.' There was no response.

Nikki frantically dialled the number Bec's work number. From an earlier email she knew the Chef was working most of the 2Dad's shore leave, and was not at all impressed. A perky young woman answered the phone, 'Yes, I need to speak to Rebecca Brown please.'

'Who's calling?'

'My name is Nikki, I'm a friend of hers. I need to speak to her now, it's a matter of urgency. Please.'

'I'll just grab her for you.' In the background she could hear the young woman calling out and moments later the phone was picked up, 'Nikki, what's wrong?'

'Something's wrong with Kate. You need to get over there.'

'Isn't Mike there?'

'He's gone. I don't know what's happened, but she sounds really bad, and she's alone.'

'I'll be there in ten.'

'Thanks Bec.'

'No problem, I'll call you when I get there?'

'I'm on the line with her now, just let me know when you get there.' Bec hung up the phone, pulling her apron off and throwing it in the direction of the washing bag. 'I have to go,' she announced, ignoring the looks she was getting from the other Chef's who were busily prepping for the evening shift. Disappearing into the locker room, she emerged with her bag slung over her shoulder, rushing towards the back exit to where her car was parked. 'Where are you going?' her boss asked, grabbing her arm.

'My friend, she has cancer, she's at home alone, and she's sick. I have to get to her.'

'Not when you're rostered on.'

'If I don't go now, she could die, and I'm not gonna live with that. If you won't let me go, then I quit.' She pushed him away and stormed out the door, locating her car and jumping in the drivers seat. Her tyres squealed as she peeled out of the car park, pulling a sharp right hand turn and flying up the street towards Kate's house.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Bec burst through the front door of Kate's townhouse. Stowing her set of keys in her pocket, she ran through the townhouse, yelling for Kate. Getting no initial response, she raced into the lounge room, finding the blonde woman lying on the floor. Grabbing the phone that was on the floor next to Kate, she spoke into the receiver, 'Nikki?'

'Is she ok? I haven't heard anything for a while,' Nikki asked, frantic.

'She's unconscious, but,' she pressed two fingers to Kate's neck, searching for a pulse, 'she's breathing and there's a pulse. I'm just going to call an Ambulance.'

'I have to go, but can you call me when you know what's happening?'

'Absolutely.' Nikki hung up on the other end, and Bec quickly dialled for an Ambulance. Going through a multitude of details with the operator, Bec was relieved when she heard the sirens in the distance.

Two paramedics raced through the door minutes later, rushing to the unconscious woman on the floor. Rolling her onto her back, they could see the sticky patches of bile stuck to her shirt. Attaching a heart monitor to her index finger they recorded their observations before one of them retreated to grab the trolley from the back of the Ambulance. The remaining paramedic spoke some more with Bec trying to ascertain what had happened with the woman who was still unconscious on the floor.

'I don't know what happened. She's about to start her third cycle of Chemo. I got a call from a friend who said Kate sounded sick.'

'Is there anyone staying with her?'

'Her boyfriend is, but I don't know where he is.' Bec stepped back, watching as Kate's limp body was shifted onto the trolley and she was wheeled out to the waiting Ambulance.

Minutes later Bec rushed through the front doors of the hospital, phone in hand, attempting to contact Mike as she made her way through the corridors, following the signs to the Admin desk. 'I'm looking for Kate McGregor.' Looking up the name on the computer, the young man responded, 'She's with the Doctor now, if you take a seat over there, they should have some news shortly.'

'Thank you.' Slowly, Bec made her way over to the bank of chairs that lined the wall, taking a seat and pulling her phone from its place in her pocket. Running her fingers across the touch screen, she decided against calling Nikki until she knew more about how Kate was. Sitting the phone in her lap, she leaned against the hard back of the chair, allowing her eyes to slip closed.

A clearing throat pulled Bec from her light slumber. Standing before her was a young man, 'Are you with Kate McGregor?'

'I am. Is she ok?'

'Would you like to come with me?' Scrambling up from the chair, Bec straightened her chef's uniform and followed the man. He led her into a small room just beyond the waiting area. 'I understand that Miss McGregor has breast cancer. What can you tell me about that?'

'She had a double mastectomy and reconstruction about eight weeks ago and she was due to start her third round of chemo tomorrow. What's wrong?'

'We're running some tests now, but from my observations it appears that she has contracted a chest infection. I don't need to tell you that for someone who is undergoing cancer treatment, an infection like this could prove fatal.'

'What can you do?'

'She's still unconscious, we've got her on oxygen and are administering antibiotics to help her immune system fight the infection. Do you know how long she's been unwell?'

'I spoke with her last night and she seemed fine. She told me she'd been sleeping a lot, but she's been doing that since she started chemo, so it didn't seem out of the ordinary.'

'What about visitors?'

'She had a barbeque with our old crewmates last night. No one seemed sick.'

'What about her home? Is it air conditioned?'

'Of course, the AC was on when I got there this afternoon, and it was on yesterday as well,' Bec paused, 'Could the AC have done this?'

'The recycled air, too little clothing on her body, it's possible, but it's just as likely she's contracted a virus from somewhere else. Has she been out of the home lately?'

'I saw her out on Friday. She was with Mike at Central.'

'And Mike is?'

'Her partner. He's caring for her.'

'Where is he today?'

'I'm not sure. He wasn't there when I got there.' There was a knock on the door, and another person entered the room, handing a folder to the Doctor who had been speaking with Bec. 'Excuse me,' he said, exiting the room, leaving the woman confused and alone.

Ten minutes later the man returned to the room, 'You can see her now if you like. She's still unconscious, but you can sit with her.' Bec nodded and followed the man out of the room. Stopping in front of a closed curtain, he pulled it open slightly, revealing Kate lying beneath the plain white sheet, an oxygen mask sitting comfortably over her nose and mouth. The monitors next to the bed beeped steadily in time to her heart beat. 'We'll be moving her up to the ward shortly, but you can sit with her until we transfer her.'

'Thank you.' Bec took a seat next to Kate, taking in the sight of her former Executive Officer unconscious on the bed. 'Kate,' Bec whispered, 'Just hang in there, it'll be ok.'

It was almost an hour before Kate was transferred to a ward. While Kate was settled in her new room, Bec took the opportunity to once again attempt to contact Mike. His voicemail picked up, again, _"You've reached Mike Flynn, leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."_

'Mike, its Bec, again, call me as soon as you get this. Kate's in the hospital.'Hanging up the phone, she sent a quick email to her former Navigator, and waited patiently for Nikki to call her back. Minutes later her mobile started vibrating against her leg. 'Nikki?' she asked, answering it automatically.

'Bec? Is she ok?'

'She has a chest infection and she hasn't regained consciousness yet.'

'Oh God.'

'They've given her antibiotics and they're postponing her next round of chemo until she recovers.'

'Will you let me know when she wakes up? I'm on Watch, so I can't talk.'

'Sure. Stay safe Nik.'

'Bye.' The line clicked as the call was disconnected. Watching the screen on her phone turn black, Bec, headed up to the ward where Kate was, prepared to sit by her friends side until she was well.

Early the next morning, Mike unlocked the front door, pushing it open, half tripping over as he stepped inside. 'Kate?' he called, finding the place dark. Dropping his keys on the kitchen bench, he went up to the bedroom, and upon finding it deserted, he began to worry. The pounding in his head increased as he looked around the room. The bed looked the same as it did when he left the day before. Her old sea bag, the one she took to hospital with her was still sitting in the corner. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he tried to locate his phone, hoping it might be able to shed some light on the situation. Unable to locate the device, he went back out to his car, finding the object in the compartment inside the door. Unlocking the screen, a message flashed up, _"Five Missed Calls"_, clearing the screen, the phone beeped, _"Four new voice messages."_ Tapping the phone icon on the screen, he checked who the missed calls were from. The list appeared on screen, _Kate, 10:03am; Bec (2); Nikki (2); _frowning, he hit the icon for voicemail, lifting the phone to his ear. Listening to the messages first message was enough, he ran back to the house, locking it up before rushing back to the car, starting it up and throwing it into gear.

Minutes later he arrived at the hospital, parking in the nearest available space. Rushing through the front doors of the building, he ran to the Admin desk, 'Michelle,' he said, recognising the woman behind the desk, 'Where's Kate?' Scrolling down the screen in front of her, she located Kate's name on the list, 'She's in room 256.'

'Thanks Michelle,' Mike said, running towards the elevator.

The elevator doors dinged as they opened on the second floor. Eying the directional signs opposite the doors, Mike turned to his right, speed-walking across the tiled floor, counting the numbers on each side of the passage. Finally locating his desired number, he took a minute to catch his breath, unsure of what he would find behind the currently closed door. Not bothering to knock, he pushed the door open, stepping inside the small room. Bec looked up from her place next to Kate, 'Mike?'

'I just got your messages. Is she ok?' Bec shook her head,

'They don't know. She hasn't woken up yet.' Tears pooled in his eyes as he took in the sight of the woman before him. Kate was lying dead still in the centre of the bed, an oxygen mask still covering her mouth and nose. A clip was clasped on her left index finger, connected to one of the monitors at the head of the bed, which was beeping at steady intervals. A blood pressure cuff was around her right upper arm, and an IV line had been inserted into the back of her left hand, running into the bags of fluid that were hanging from the pole at the head of the bed. 'Oh, Kate,' he whispered, running his fingers down her pale cheek. 'I'm so sorry. God I shouldn't have walked out, I'm so sorry.' There was no response from the woman on the bed, so he took a seat next to her. 'What's wrong? She was fine when I left.'

'Chest infection. They're giving her antibiotics but they've delayed the chemo until she's stronger.'

'This is all my fault. I took her out the other day, she wasn't feeling well, but I took her anyway.'

'This isn't your fault Mike, her immune system is weak, it's the cancer, the chemo, it's not your fault.'

'I should've been there. And I wasn't.'

'Where were you?' Bec's tone was accusing, and Mike shook his head, trying to suppress the memories,

'We had a fight…and I walked out. I just…I couldn't look at her.'

'What did you do?'

'I got drunk. Passed out at Buffer's.'

'And you didn't have your phone?'

'Found it in the car this morning.' His last statement angered the woman across from him further, 'She could've died Mike. If Nikki hadn't have called her and realised something was wrong, then she would've been lying there until you got home.'

'I know,' he said, ducking his head shamefully.

'She could still die!'

'I know that!' he yelled, the Commander coming out in him, causing the woman to shrink in her seat, 'And the fact that she's sick? I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life. I'll never forgive myself for that.' There was an awkward silence between the pair, both choosing to focus on the woman that lay between them, completely unaware of the drama occurring around her. Bec opened her mouth to respond to his last comment but was cut off, 'Don't you have somewhere else to be?' he asked, his tone icy. Knowing that she had pushed more than one button with her former Captain, Bec nodded and stood up, 'I'll come back later,' she whispered, gathering her things and leaving the room.

'Kate, I need you to wake up now,' Mike whispered, sandwiching her smaller hand between his larger ones, 'I need you to know that I'm sorry for everything that I said yesterday. I need you to wake up so we can fight this disease together, and so that when you're better we can start a family.

'I love you Kate McGregor, and I need you by my side.' Leaning forward, he dared to press a kiss to her cheek, reaching up with one of his hands to push the stray strands of hair away from her eyes. Several of the strands he attempted to move came out in the relocation and he clenched his fists around them, trying to diffuse his anger. Holding the delicate strands in his hands, he thought back to something Buffer had suggested the night before:

'_I think there's something you could do…'_

'_What?' Mike asked, taking another sip from his beer._

'_You could shave your head.'_

'_But what does that achieve?' _

'_It's a gesture of support. It might not mean much to you, but it'll mean a lot to her. Trust me.'_

Looking at the small bald patch that had appeared along Kate's hairline, Mike ran his hand across his own locks. 'It'll grow back,' he whispered to himself. Yawning, as the past couple of days caught up with him, he again clasped her hands in his own, and rested his head beside hers, dropping a kiss on her forehead before he settled in the uncomfortable position and drifted off to sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

'Mike…Mike,' he could hear a woman's voice in the distance, pulling him from his slumber,

'Kate?' he asked sleepily.

'No Mike, its Dr. Marsh.' Blinking rapidly to adjust his eyes to the light, Mike sat up stretching his stiff muscles as he rolled his body into an upright position. 'Kate?' he asked, somewhat panicked as his eyes drifting to the still unconscious woman on the bed.

'I've had a look at her test results from last night, and it seems her body is trying to fight off the infection. We've given her a high strength dose of antibiotics to help it along, but right now the best thing for her is rest, so while I'm a little concerned that she hasn't woken up yet, it's probably for the best.' The guilt lodged in his stomach came out in a flurry of questions.

'What about her chemo? She was due to start her next round today.'

'At the earliest we can start it next week, but it depends on how strong she is. I don't want to give her the chemo if her immune system is too weak because then its counter productive. It won't achieve anything. So hopefully she can spend a week here resting and then we'll get into the chemo next week.' Mike nodded as Dr. Marsh continued, 'How's she going otherwise? I saw her on Friday, but I missed you.'

'I couldn't come. I had to work.'

'How's she been at home?'

'We had a huge fight yesterday. Everything exploded and I walked out. I promised her I would never do that. And now she's sick. And…' he stopped unable to continue for the moment.

'This isn't your fault Mike. Something like this is common in cancer patients, they have a weakened immune system, you know that.' Mike shook his head, before responding again,

'I know, but she wasn't feeling well and I took her out anyway. I should have left her at home when I went to the shops. Maybe then…' Seeing the direction in which this conversation was headed, Dr. Marsh cut him short,

'Mike chances are, this infection would've gotten her eventually. And we're lucky that she was bought into hospital when she was. She's doing well, if no one had found her, she could very well be dead. Cancer's a fickle thing, it's a horrible disease, and Kate is incredibly lucky to have someone like you by her side. It's not easy being the patient, but it's just as hard being the carer. But Mike, you're not alone. Have you called any of the support groups I mentioned?' she reached out to squeeze his hand reassuringly.

'Not yet,' he admitted, his eyes downcast.

'I suggest you do. I think you'll find you're not the only person out there who's going through this. It'll help.'

'You think so?'

'I do.'

'There's one meeting today, if you want to go. You don't have to talk, you can just listen.' Considering the offer for the moment, he eventually nodded,

'I'll go.'

'Great. I just need to grab the details from my office.'

'Okay. I'll be here.' The woman nodded and exited the room. Alone with Kate once again, Mike settled back into position next to the bed, 'Come on beautiful, open those eyes for me,' he whispered, brushing his fingers down her warm cheek. Again receiving no response from the woman before him, he gripped her hand tightly in his, 'When you're ready, I'll be here.'

Nervously, Mike looked around the room. A small group of people were gathered in the non-descript area, most greeting each other like old friends, all here to share similar experiences, and help each other through the difficult time they were going through. A middle aged woman came wandering into the room, taking the vacant seat towards the head of the room before calling the group together, 'Before we begin, I'd like to welcome Mike to our group, I hope you'll make him feel welcome.' The others in the room offered a cheerful hello to the newcomer and Mike began to feel a little more at ease. Mike listened as the others discussed their fears about their loved ones illness and the strain it was placing on their own lives. At the end of a fellow attendees' oration, all eyes turned to Mike. Clearing his throat, he sat up a little straighter, running his hand through his hair, before he began to speak in a crackly voice.

'My name's Mike, and my girlfriend has cancer.' The woman leading the group nodded and gave him an encouraging smile, indicating for him to continue. 'She was diagnosed with Stage two breast cancer almost five months ago, and during surgery, they found that it had spread beyond her breast and into her lymph nodes,' he paused, trying to calm his voice, 'She was due to start her third round of Chemo today, but yesterday she was brought into the hospital with a chest infection. And…I wasn't there. We'd had a fight and I ran. I promised her I would never do that, and now, she's unconscious, and I'm afraid that I'll never get to tell her how sorry I am,' he stopped abruptly, wiping at the tears that had begun to fall as he spoke. The woman sitting next to him, pulled a tissue from her handbag, passing it to the emotional man, who accepted the offering gratefully. 'Thank you,' he whispered. Sensing that Mike needed some time to regather his thoughts, the leader of the group asked another one of the attendees a question, effectively shifting the focus off him.

The group continued for another twenty or so minutes before the session was finished. Mike, slightly more composed, stood up and headed for the door, eager to check on Kate. The woman, who'd given him the tissue earlier, gently placed her hand on his arm, stopping him from leaving. 'Mike…' he turned to the woman, his blue eyes still brimming with tears. 'If you need to talk…'

'Thank you,' he said, his voice cracking, 'I have to get back to Kate.' The woman nodded, watching as the man in question fled the room, rushing back towards the hospital exit.

She was still unconscious when he arrived back in her room a couple of hours later. Dropping her seabag on the floor beside the bed, he put her battered teddy on the bed, gently lifting her arm and placing it around the bear. Mike watched her chest rise and fall steadily, the monitors beeping in time, a sound that was once annoying, now simply a source of comfort; as long as that beep continued, so did Kate's life. The door opened, and another person entered the room, 'Mike?' the woman's voice was gentle.

'Doctor?'

'How'd you go with group?'

'It helped. At least I know I'm not alone.'

'You were never alone Mike. You were just choosing to be.'

'I know. There's something I need to do, will you call me if she wakes up?'

'Sure, I've got a couple of other patients to see, but I'll make sure someone checks on her.'

'Thanks. I won't be too long. An hour at the most.' Mike grabbed his wallet and keys of the table beside Kate's bed and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before he left.

Less than an hour later he snuck back into Kate's room, once again taking his seat next to the bed, 'Hey beautiful, I'm back, and have I got a surprise for you. But first you need to wake up, because I can't show you if you're sleeping.' He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and to his surprise, he was rewarded with a weak squeeze in return. 'Kate?' he asked, reaching his free hand up to run it down the side of her face, hope stirring within him. Her skin still felt horribly warm, but the squeezing on his hand continued, each time getting stronger. Her eyelids began to twitch and after several attempts her eyes opened for a brief second, closing in reaction to the bright lights of the room. 'Kate?' he asked again.

'Mike?' came the muffled response before she launched into a series of dry coughs. Sitting her up slightly to let the fluid drain south, Mike grabbed the cup of water that had been sitting on the table since he came in. Gently he removed the oxygen mask, resting it below her chin, 'Here, just a sip,' he told her, holding the straw up to her lips.

'Thank you,' she said her voice crackly. Her eyes focused on him curiously, 'You said there was a surprise.' He let out a small laugh,

'Of all the things I've told you, that's what you remember?' She nodded slowly, reaching up to caress his cheek,

'I also remember something about you loving me.'

'That might have been mentioned once or twice. I love you Kate McGregor and I'm so sorry. I should never have left you the way I did.'

'I love you Mike Flynn.' He leaned down to press a kiss to her warm forehead, his salty tears mingling with the beads of sweat across her pale skin, 'Now about my surprise…'


	23. Chapter 23

_Apologies for the delay in posting. I want to dedicate this chapter to my Uncle who last week lost his own battle with cancer. Rest in Peace xx_

**Chapter 23**

'Now about my surprise…'

'What about it?' Mike asked, a mischievous glint in his eye.

'I woke up, so you owe me a surprise.'

'Do I?' he questioned innocently, 'No, I don't seem to remember that being part of the deal.'

'I do,' Kate told him stubbornly, folding her arms across her chest defiantly. A grin spread across his lips as he watched the woman before him. Unable to help himself, Mike leaned forward, claiming her lips in a gentle, loving kiss. Pulling away a split second later, Kate's oxygen mask, long forgotten in their banter was put back in place, and the blonde took several deep breaths, triggering a small coughing fit. Concerned, Mike jumped up from his place beside the bed, racing out of the room in search of help. He returned with a young Nurse in tow, the bubbly redhead checking Kate's chart, recording her observations as she checked Kate's blood pressure and pulse, noting the numbers on the chart, before leaving the room. Dr. Marsh came in moments later, surprised to see her patient awake and sitting up, 'Kate, how are you feeling?' Kate lifted her arm, rolling her hand from side to side, 'Ok, I'm just going to listen to your chest.' Kate nodded, leaning forward to allow the other woman to slip the cold stethoscope beneath her papery gown. The harsh, cool metal was placed against Kate's back and she took deep breaths according to Dr. Marsh's instructions, eventually succumbing to a massive coughing fit. Finishing her assessment, Dr. Marsh gestured for Kate to lie down, resting her slight frame against the fluffy pillows, 'It sounds like there's still a lot of fluid in there. We'll do another chest x-ray this afternoon and that will give us a better idea of how your body is healing. I'll take some more blood and send that to the lab to check your white blood cell levels and we'll decide on a course of treatment from there. Any questions?' Kate shifted the oxygen mask down,

'Chemo?'

'Hopefully in the next week or two, but we'll know more once we get the bloodwork back.'

'When can I go home?'

'Not until after your chemo. Right now your body is weak, we want it to be stronger before we send you home.' Kate nodded, settling back against the pillows once again. 'Right, I'll go and organise your x-rays and I'll see you a little later.'

'Thanks Doctor,' Mike responded, gripping Kate's hand loosely, offering her a calming smile.

Alone again in the room, an awkward silence settled over the couple. Both knew they had a lot to discuss, but neither knew where to begin.

'I'm sorry…' Mike began, running his hand over his face, his brow furrowed in anguish. 'Kate, what I said to you…running out like that…' he swallowed the massive lump that had formed in his throat, 'God, if Nikki hadn't have called…' he trailed off, his eyes brimming with tears, 'I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you.' Finally allowing the tears to slip out, Mike clung desperately to the woman beside him. Shocked at his frank display of emotion, Kate shifted in the bed, reaching up to pull his head to rest on her shoulder. Careful to avoid the multitude of tubes and cables that were attached to her, she ran her fingers soothingly through his hair. 'It's ok Mike, let it out…' she whispered, removing her mask before pressing a kiss to his temple. Eventually, Mike's tears slowed and he shifted his head to peer into Kate's eyes. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and she shifted the oxygen mask away, allowing her to capture his lips with her own. The contact was brief, lasting only seconds, but the slight touch was enough to soothe their still raw wounds.

Sometime later there was a quiet knock at the door. Receiving no answer, the young man opened the door, finding the couple in what appeared to be a peaceful slumber. Mike's head was resting on the mattress next to Kate's, his body twisted awkwardly in the plastic chair. Backing out of the room, the redhead bumped into Dr. Marsh, 'They're asleep, I ahh, didn't want to wake them.'

'Unfortunately, we need to get Kate down to X-ray now, so we have to wake them.' Dr. Marsh, entered the room, gently shaking Mike awake. 'Mike…Mike, we need to take Kate down to x-ray now.' The man before her was roused from his slumber and he stretched out his stiff muscles. 'She'll be about an hour if you need to pop out anywhere.'

'Ok,' Mike leaned over, pressing a kiss to Kate's still warm forehead. She emitted a soft moan as her eyes fluttered open, triggering a brief couching fit. 'Kate, they're taking you to x-ray now.' She nodded in response, 'I'll see you when you get back,' Mike continued, 'I love you.'

'Love you too,' she responded, though the sound was muffled by the oxygen mask that was still covering her face.

Just over an hour later Mike strode back into Kate's room, surprised to find her sitting up in bed, her oxygen mask having been replaced with a nasal cannula. 'Hi,' he said, reclaiming his seat beside her, eagerly capturing her lips with his now that she was free from the confines of the oxygen mask. 'Hi,' she whispered when he pulled away.

'No more mask?' he questioned.

'Nope, Dr. Marsh came in, apparently the fluid is dissipating. So no more mask.'

'I like it. Much easier to do this…' Mike leaned in, claiming her lips again in an urgent kiss. Kate pulled away, unable to get enough air into her lungs, ducking her head shyly. Once she regained her breath, she took his larger hands in hers, 'Mike. We need to talk…'

'I know we do Kate.'

'I've been shutting you out, and I'm sorry. I don't do it on purpose. It's just…I have so much going on in my mind and I'm worried that if I tell you what I'm really thinking then you'll run a mile.'

'But I won't.'

'Mike…I just…I've been let down so many times in my life, mostly by others, but sometimes by you, and as much as you've proved yourself otherwise over the past few months, there's still a small part of me that's still concerned that you might think this is all too hard, and you'll leave me alone.

'And Mike, I couldn't deal with this alone. I need you here by my side, when this is over I want us to spend our lives together…' she paused, wiping away the tears that had formed, 'I want to be the mother of your children…I want…' Kate choked on a sob, the tears rolling down her face. Not wanting to continue in her self pity, Mike silenced her with a kiss, his tears mingling with hers. Pulling away slightly, he responded, 'I want you to be the mother of my children…I love you Kate McGregor.' One of his hands slid up into her blonde locks, Mike determined to bring her lips back to his once again. In doing so he inadvertently pulling some of her hair free, the strands coming out in his hands in a big clump. Realising his mistake, Mike quickly apologised, 'God Kate, I'm sorry.' A sad smile graced her lips,

'It's alright, it was coming out anyway. I thinking I should shave it before it has a chance to fall out of it's own accord.'

'What if I did it for you…?' Mike trailed off. Kate looked into his eyes,

'Would you?'

'Absolutely, and you know what I've been thinking?' he asked, a cheeky grin forming on his face.

'What?'

'That it might be time for a change of style.' Running his hand through his own locks, it took a moment for Kate to realise the enormity of his statement.

'Really? You would do that?'

'For you Kate…anything.' Shifting away from the bed momentarily, Mike shuffled through his bag that was sitting by the cabinet, turning back to Kate, a pair of clippers held in his grip. 'I think it's time for us to let go of the past and start looking towards the future.'


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Kate ran her hand across her newly bald scalp, tears forming in her eyes as she looked at the pile of hair sitting on the floor around her. An arm slid around her body, pulling her backwards slightly until she met his broad chest. A pair of lips pressed against the back of her head momentarily before a soft voice came from behind her, 'Beautiful,' he whispered, gently turning her body in his arms, running the back of his hand down her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact, and he seized the opportunity to capture her lips in a deep kiss. When they pulled apart, Kate was breathless, her body still recovering from the infection that came close to claiming her life. Her eyes fluttered open again, taking in the sight of the man before her. His bare scalp almost shone under the fluorescent lights that shed much needed light into the small bathroom. Instinctively she reached up to run her hands across the prickly skin, 'Beautiful,' she whispered, dragging her lips along his jaw line before claiming his lips once more.

'Morning Kate,' Came the cheery voice of Dr. Marsh. Rolling over in bed, Kate groaned, stretching her stiff body until her weary joints cracked. 'Morning,' Kate muttered in response, sitting up slowly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Dr. Marsh stopped next to the bed, taking a seat in the chair that usually housed Mike. 'How are you feeling this morning?'

'Ready to go home.'

'Not for a few days, unfortunately. The bloodwork we did yesterday came back this morning and everything's looking good so we'll start your Chemo after you've had some breakfast.'

'And after that I can go home?'

'After you've finished this round of treatment, as long as your bloods come back fine you can go home for a couple of weeks.'

'Thank God,' Kate responded, sighing dramatically. Dr. Marsh laughed, 'No offence. I've just spent far too much time in hospitals this year.'

'None taken. I haven't met many patients who aren't eager to get home, especially when they have a gorgeous man to get back too.' It was Kate's turn to laugh, a rare smile spreading across her face. 'You never told me how you guys met?' Kate paused a moment before answering,

'Nine years ago at Watson's Bay. He was lecturing and we had a very brief relationship. After he left, I didn't see or hear from him again until I was posted to his ship, several years later. We didn't really get together again until after I found out I was sick and posted off.'

'And now?'

'Relationship wise, it has never been this good. This easy. Health wise, I'm just taking each day as it comes. Once all this is over, who knows? But right now, I just want to focus on fighting this disease.' Leaning back against the pillows, Kate looked visibly more relaxed, a smile dancing across her lips.

'And you're doing a great job. Nothing about this is supposed to be easy. I've got some other patients to check on, but I'll be back in a couple of hours to set up your treatment.' Squeezing Kate's hand lightly, Dr. Marsh stood up, shutting the door behind her.

'Home sweet home!' Kate yelled dropping her bag on the floor. Despite her enthusiasm, she was exhausted. Her two week hospital stay, and the last weeks Chemo treatment had zapped what was left of her energy. Noticing her tiredness, Mike quickly threaded his arm around her waist, taking most of her weight and helping her further into the house. 'Couch or bed?' he asked.

'Bed,' she responded eagerly, taking a shaky step towards the bedroom. Several minutes later Mike sat her down on the edge of the bed, pulling the covers down slightly. Rummaging through the drawers next to the bed, he pulled out a pair of light pyjama pants, and a t-shirt, dropping them next to her. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he spoke, 'Do you need a hand?' She shook her head in response. 'I'll be out here if you need me.'

'Thanks Mike,' she said, pulling him down for a quick kiss. Situating a bucket and towel next to the bed in case she couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, Mike turned to leave the room closing the door behind him, heading out to the kitchen, letting her get some much needed rest.

Kate awoke with a start, her throat tight, moving quickly, she tried to make it to the bathroom, falling to the floor, hanging her head over the bucket as she emptied her stomach. Relaxing on the couch in front of the television, Mike heard a loud thud come from the bedroom. His heart racing, and his eyes opened wide with fear, he jumped up, running to the bedroom, finding Kate curled on the floor, huddled over a bucket. He threw his body to the ground, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame as she continued to vomit. 'It's alright Kate, I'm here…' Mike spoke softly, running his hand across her bald scalp, sliding it down to run soothing circles on her back. Holding his head up so he didn't watch the spectacle before him, Mike was again filled with fear. He knew this was all part of the side effects of the aggressive Chemo she was receiving to kill the cancer that had invaded her body, but still, he couldn't get used to it, seeing her sick so often, emptying the meagre contents of her stomach.

Sitting up slightly, Kate used the back of her hand to wipe around her mouth. Coughing up the last of the bile from her stomach, she let her spent body fall back against Mike, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. Giving her a sip of water from the glass that had made its home next to the bed, Mike held the bucket up so she could spit of the last traces of vomit. Placing the glass back on the table, he wound his free arm around her body, resting it on her stomach. Ignoring the stray bits of vomit that ended up on the Kate's shirt and the floor around them, Mike held her close. 'Everything's gonna be alright Kate, I promise.'

'You can't promise that,' she whispered.

'I can't lose you Kate.'

'I'm not going anywhere…' She pulled him down to her, pressing her lips to his. Mike deepened the kiss, his tongue tangling with hers. Hesitantly, his hands slid up under her damp shirt, his fingers tickling her sweaty skin. Mirroring his actions, Kate's delicate fingers slid up his broad chest. Shifting again so she had better access, Kate could feel his increasingly obvious arousal against her leg. Breathless, Mike pulled away, his gaze locking onto hers, as he reached up, encasing her hands in his, brushing them over him. 'Kate, I understood your reluctance before but I love you and I need to be with you now. I need to know that you're going to let me in. Please let me be with you?' he told her, his voice pleading. It took Kate a few moments to respond, 'Yes…'


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

'Kate, I understood your reluctance before but I love you and I need to be with you now. I need to know that you're going to let me in. Please let me be with you?' he told her, his voice pleading. It took Kate a few moments to respond, 'Yes…'

'Yes?' he asked quietly, not quite believing his ears.

'Yes,' Kate repeated, pulling him back to her, fusing their lips together. Mike wrapped his arms firmly around her, holding her body close to his while his tongue danced with hers. Breaking apart briefly, Mike helped Kate to her feet, settling them both on the bed. Lying next to her, Mike took a moment to drink in the sight of her. Still clothed in vomit tinged clothes, her skin flushed from both her illness and exertion, Mike couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. 'Perfect,' he whispered, leaning towards her and claiming her lips with his own. His fingers slid to the hem of her t-shirt, but Kate stopped him, placing her hands on his, halting their momentum. 'I just need a minute,' she told him quietly, closing her eyes and in an attempt to silence the voices in her head. Mike watched her internal battle calmly until without warning, she began to pull her shirt up over her head to reveal her new breasts to him for the first time. Placing his hands over hers to still her movements, he looked into her eyes and spoke softly, 'Let me…please…' She nodded, watching as he slowly lifted her shirt, revealing her skin to him inch by inch. Pressing a series of kisses to her abdomen as the material was raised northward he paused the moment he reached the bottom of her breasts, searching once again for her approval. 'Go ahead,' she whispered, lifting her arms so her shirt could be slid off with ease. As the material fell to the floor, Mike's gaze came to rest on what was left of her breasts. The incision marks were still painfully obvious, and their appearance was altered almost beyond recognition. She still had no nipples, and it would still be many months until she underwent the surgery to reconstruct them. Noticing his curious gaze, Kate became embarrassed and threw her arms across her chest in an attempt to cover herself, 'Mike, you don't need to look at them…you don't need to touch them…'

'Why?' he asked, 'They're beautiful Kate. Every part of you is beautiful,' he paused, 'You'll always be perfect in my eyes.' Reaching up, Mike gently cupped her cheek and pressed a kiss to her lips. He knew that she was self conscious about revealing herself to him and he wanted to reassure her that to him, she was truly beautiful all over. This was a big step for her to take but she would not be doing it alone, they would be doing it together. He loved every part of her and he needed her to know that. Leaning down, he gently shifted her arms away, before placing his lips on the flesh, moving along until he'd covered every inch of skin. 'Beautiful,' he told her, reaching up to cup her face and bringing her lips towards his for a tender kiss. He trailed a line of gentle kisses down her jaw, a soft moan escaping from her lips. Grasping the buttons on his shirt, Kate busied herself slipping them from their holes, pushing the fabric from his shoulders and baring his chest. Her fingers immediately came to rest on his chest, tracing random patterns across his skin. Distracted by her movements, Mike looked up and Kate seized the opportunity to latch onto his neck, nipping hungrily at the skin there. Groaning, Mike pulled her back to his lips, leaving their hands to rediscover territory that was once so familiar. As their kisses became more heated, the last of their clothes were shed and Mike positioned himself above her, pulling away momentarily while his eyes searched for any sign of pain or doubt, 'You ok?' he asked.

'Make love to me Mike,' Kate responded. A contented smile spread across his lips as he claimed her lips once more, giving himself over to the moment and losing himself in her like he'd wanted to do for so long.

His movements were gentle and deliberate as he slid himself inside her heat. Carefully, he began a slow rhythm, his lips caressing her neck, then travelling back up to meet her lips. Kate's soft moans filled the room as their breath mingled together, their lips remaining barely inches apart as they continued the slow build to completion. As their climax grew closer Mike stilled briefly, Kate's eyes fluttered open, locked onto his as she questioned him, 'Mike?' she asked, struggling to catch her breath.

'You ok?' he whispered, wiping at the sweat that was dripping from her brow.

'Perfect…I'm perfect…' she smiled, appreciating his concern and willingness to stop had she been unable to continue.

'I love you Kate McGregor,' he declared, dragging his fingers down her cheek before recommencing his steady movements. As they approached their mutual climaxes, Kate reached up, pulling his lips back to hers, fusing them together as they spilled over the edge.

It took several minutes for Mike's breathing to steady and he carefully shifted from his position above Kate. Whimpering at the loss of his body heat, Kate, still attempting to catch her breath, was struggling to keep her eyes open. Mike quickly wrapped his arms around her fragile body, and guided her head to rest on his chest. 'I love you Mike Flynn,' Kate whispered, her eyes slipping shut, as she allowed her exhausted body to get some rest.

The sun was setting in the sky when Kate began to stir. Their activities from earlier in the afternoon had left her exhausted, and she'd spent the rest of the day sleeping in his arms under the pale blue sheets, their clothes haphazardly spread across the floor. 'Love you,' Mike whispered, watching as her eyes fluttered open.

'Love you too,' Kate repeated quietly, not wanting to burst the bubble of bliss she awoke to. Stroking her back lazily, a smile graced his handsome face, as Mike replayed the events from earlier that day in his mind. Though his relationship with Kate had been sexual in the past, he could safely say that of all the times they'd been intimate before not one of them compared to their experience that afternoon. 'What are you thinking?' Kate asked, interrupting his thoughts.

'I've never felt this way before…Kate, that was the most beautiful experience of my life…' he spoke softly, tears forming in his eyes as he struggled to put into words what was going through his mind.

'Mine too,' she responded, tears sliding down her cheeks.

'I've never felt as close to anyone as I do to you right now. Kate…I don't want you to die…I can't go the rest of my life without making love to you…' Kate laughed between her tears,

'Mike, the most physical activity I've undertaken in the past few months is walking around the house. You need to give me more than a few hours before I'm ready to go round again…' An amused smile graced his features, and he pressed a firm kiss to her lips, their tears mingling together. Pulling away, Mike replied cheekily,

'I didn't mean right now…but if you're offering…' Kate slapped at his chest playfully,

'Can you let me sleep a little more first?'

'For you Kate…anything…' Mike pulled her body closer, resting his chin on top of her head, as they both lay in silence, content just to be in each others arms.

It took the contented pair another hour to decide to move. Unable to ignore her full bladder any longer, Kate shifted in Mike's arms, 'Mike, I need to get up.' He loosened his grip, and allowed to her slip from his embrace. Swinging her feet over the edge of the mattress, Kate adjusted to her new position, standing up slowly, and ignoring the dizziness that assaulted her when she stood to her full height. Collecting a shirt from the dresser, she threw it over her naked body, 'Don't get dressed on my account…I was enjoying the view!' Mike yelled as she retreated from the room.

'I'm sure you are,' Kate yelled back, 'but it won't do you any good.' Laughing, Mike followed her lead, getting out of bed and hastily dressing before going to out to the kitchen, intent on whipping up something quick for dinner.

Kate emerged a few minutes later, a pair of boxer shorts peeking out beneath the hem of the oversized shirt she was wearing. Her stomach growled as she approached the kitchen, the sizzle coming from the stove sending a pleasant smell throughout the small house. Looking around, she could sense something had changed, but she couldn't quite figure out what it could be. Coming into the lounge to switch on the TV, her foot collided with an object that definitely wasn't there earlier. Frowning, she looked down and noticed a cardboard box sitting at her feet. Slightly confused, she went over to the kitchen, 'Mike, why is there a cardboard box on the floor?' Electing not to respond at that moment, Mike turned the heat down on the stove, before coming over to press a kiss to her forehead.

'I must've forgotten about it earlier,' he told her calmly.

'But why is it there?' Kate was still confused.

'I moved it over during the week.'

'From where?'

'My place.'

'You gave up your place?' Mike nodded, 'Was this my surprise?' she asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she made reference to his comment from weeks ago.

'Kind of,' he responded, resting his hand over hers as it gripped his cheek lightly, 'I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer. Kate I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life.' Wiping the tears that had formed in her eyes, Kate whispered a response,

'There's nothing I want more.' Sealing their declarations with a kiss, Kate felt that if the cancer claimed her life tomorrow, she would go to her grave happy, just knowing that Mike loved her, and he was willing to sacrifice anything just to be with her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Stepping out onto the solid steel deck, Nikki was stunned by the humidity of the Darwin sun. A large bag slung over her right shoulder, her laptop bag clutched in her left hand, she stepped confidently towards the gangplank, earning the salutes of several Junior Sailors who were finishing up their last tasks before they could go ashore to see family and friends after such a long separation. Placing a foot on the steel plank, she looked up, smiling as she spotted a sea of people waiting at the docks. Somewhere amongst the hundreds of people were her parents. Her feet finally back on Australian soil after her six month deployment, Nikki breathed a sigh of relief. She had booked a flight to Cairns for the following evening and was looking forward to spending some time with Kate before she began her next posting in a months time. 'Mum! Dad!' Nikki yelled, spotting her parents and quickening her pace as she approached them.

'Nikki!' her mother responded, throwing her arms around her only daughter, ignoring the extra baggage the young woman was carrying. Squirming out of her mother's embrace, Nikki greeted her father quickly before turning towards the City. 'I need a beer,' she said heaving her bag back into its position on her shoulder.

'I'll take that Nik,' her father said, grabbing the heavy bag from his daughter and throwing it over his broad shoulders as the trio headed towards their hotel.

Slamming the empty glass on the bar, Nikki breathed a sigh of relief, 'I needed that…' her mother shook her head, 'What?'

'Just like your brothers.' Nikki's eyes widened,

'Mum, it's been _six_ months…'

'Typical.'

'What can I say? I was taught by the best,' Nikki smiled, gesturing towards her Dad who was already approaching with another round. The beers placed on the table in front of them, Louisa took the opportunity to change the subject. 'How's Kate doing?'

'As well as can be expected. I spoke to her last week briefly, and she's between treatment cycles now.'

'Chemo?' Nikki nodded, 'How's it going?'

'She was really sick a few weeks back, she contracted a chest infection that nearly killed her, and she spent three weeks in hospital.'

'She recovered?'

'Enough to go home. Mike said she spends most of her time sleeping, and she's had the usual side effects of Chemo but she's got four more rounds of Chemo to go and then we wait and see.'

'When are you flying over?'

'Tomorrow night, then I've got four weeks until I start my next posting.'

'Where are you heading this time?'

'Back to Patrol Boats. I've got an XO position based in Cairns.'

'Promotion?' Nikki smiled broadly in response. Louisa threw her arms around her daughter once more, 'I'm so proud of you Nikki.'

'Thanks Mum.'

The tyres squealed as the plane touched down at Cairns airport. Nikki closed her eyes as the wheels hit the tarmac, she had never been one for flying, and breathed a sigh of relief when the plane pulled up to the terminal. Thirty minutes later Nikki stepped into the arrivals area, her eyes scanning the crowd, in an attempt to locate her ride. 'Mike,' she yelled, spotting her friend standing by the terminal doors, 'Nice hair,' she said jokingly, watching as he ran his hand across the short spiky hairs that were growing from his previously bald head..

'Nikki,' he responded, coming over to relieve her of the mass of luggage she was carrying. He offered her a quick hug before gesturing towards the doors, 'I told Kate I wouldn't be too long.' Nikki nodded, understanding his reluctance to leave Kate alone for long periods of time, 'She wanted to come, but today isn't one of her better days. When I left she was on the couch resting.'

'Bad day?' Nikki asked, climbing into the passenger side of Mike's sedan. Mike nodded,

'This last cycle really knocked her around and she had to stop work again.'

'Kate must hate that. Are you still working?'

'I'm trying to get some time off, but it's not always possible.'

'If need be, I can look after her while you work. I'm on leave until I start my new posting.'

'Where have you been posted to next?'

'I'm staying in Cairns.'

'So we'll be seeing you around then?'

'I guess so.' The ride from the airport was short and in no time Mike pulled into the driveway, and shut off the engine before climbing out of the car. Nikki followed suit, 'I'll grab your bags, you go in.' He threw the house keys to Nikki,

'Thanks Mike,' she responded, pausing momentarily as she climbed the steps and unlocked the front door. Resting her hand on the doorknob, Nikki found herself unable to turn it. Looking back to where Mike was unloading the car, she took a moment to assess his appearance. She barely recognised him. Aside from his lack of hair, which was the most obvious change, she saw the subtle signs of his exhaustion. The dark circles around his eyes, the slightly gaunt look of his features. He'd lost weight too. Not so much that strangers would notice, but enough that someone who knew him well would. Turning her attention back to the door, Nikki gathered up the courage to turn the handle, and pushed the wooden structure open. Stepping through the threshold, Nikki looked around the space before her, and instantly noticed how different Kate's house looked to the last time she was in Cairns. A small clotheshorse standing near the back window was laden with washing, the days dishes were still stacked in the sink, and a thin layer of dust coated the wooden furnishings that were spread around the living area. The air conditioning was blasting and the television blaring. Peering over the back of the couch, Nikki spotted Kate curled up on the couch with a thick blanket wrapped around her frame. A scarf was positioned around her head, a bucket sitting next to the couch, and there were bowls sitting on the coffee table. While the she slept, the brunette took a few moments to survey Kate's appearance. Apart from the obvious hairloss, which was hidden beneath the scarf, her usually white skin looked deathly pale. Seeing her in person, it was obvious that Skype had given Nikki a skewed picture of her friend's condition. 'Kate?' she whispered, not wanting to wake her friend if she were sleeping.

'Nikki?' responded a sleepy voice.

'I'm here Kate,' she choked back a sob as she spoke. Speaking with Kate on the phone was nothing compared to seeing her friend lying before her. She reached down to grip Kate's hand in her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 'Where's Mike?' Kate asked, her eyes finally fluttering open, taking in the sight of her friend.

'He's bringing my bags in.'

'Ever the gentleman,' Kate whispered. As if he'd heard his name, Mike burst through the door, his phone cradled between his ear and his shoulder, as he listened intently to the call. '…Ok, I'll be there in thirty minutes.' He allowed the phone to slip from its spot into his hands, and placed it on the table before dropping Nikki's bags up in the spare room. Coming back into the lounge room, ten minutes later, he dropped a kiss to Kate's forehead, 'Sorry Kate, I have to go in,' There was regret in his voice, 'Love you.'

'Love you too,' Kate responded gesturing for him to come closer. Reaching her thin arm up, she wrapped it around his neck, pressing her lips to his. Pulling away, Mike spoke again, 'Sorry Nik. All being well I'll be back in a few hours.' Nikki smiled as she watched their interaction. Though brief, she could see how much closer the pair had become over the past few months. When Nikki had left their renewed relationship was in its infancy and it was now blatantly obvious just how far they'd come together. The little smiles, the gentle caresses, the way their fingers remained tangled together until they could no longer reach. 'No problem, I understand.' Nikki responded, watching as Mike grabbed his briefcase from the kitchen bench before rushing out the front door.

'Kate, can I get you a drink?'

'I'd love one thanks.' Nikki turned and went into the kitchen, cleaning some glasses she found sitting in the sink and filling them with cold water from the fridge.

'Here,' Nikki said, holding the glass out for Kate who had managed to pull herself into a sitting position.

'Thanks Nikki, sorry about the mess.'

'It's alright Kate, I understand.' Kate looked around somewhat embarrassed as she scanned her untidy home. She had never lived like this before and found it upsetting that some days she was simply not able to do anything about it.

'I was going to clean up before you arrived but I just didn't have the energy, and with Mike at work today…it just didn't happen.'

'Kate, you need to rest. Cleaning can wait.'

'That's what Mike says, he keeps trying to arrange for a cleaner to come over.'

'Why don't you accept?'

'It's my house. I'm home all day. I should be able to do a little bit of cleaning…everything that happens in my life is out of my control, and looking after the house is the one thing I can do to make myself feel useful. I don't want that taken away from me. If that's gone…I'll have nothing left.' There was a long pause before Kate spoke again, 'I just wish this was over,' it was a whispered admission, 'I'm so tired of being sick all the time,' there were tears in her eyes as she spoke. Nikki didn't know how to respond verbally, instead she threw her arms around her frail friend, their tears mingling together as they comforted one another.

Lifting her head from Nikki's shoulder some time later, Kate wiped at the few stray tears that were still sliding down her cheeks. 'Feel better?' Nikki asked.

'It feels good…to talk about it…'

'Kate, if I can make a suggestion?'

'Sure,' her brows knotted in curiosity

'Maybe you need someone to come in and help around the house…I'm happy to do it while I'm here, but once I'm gone…you don't need to be worrying about cleaning the house. You've got more important things to focus on right now. I know you need to feel useful, but I'm sure there's something less physical that you could be doing.'

'Like what?'

'You've always said you want to organise all your photos into albums. You've finally got the time now.' Kate thought for a moment,

'I could do that…I've got boxes of them stashed away.'

'See, that'll keep you busy.'

'I'd never thought of something like that.'

'That's why you pay me the big bucks.'


End file.
